Links That Light Us Up

33rd Edition

Hello Women on Fire!

If you celebrated Passover this past week or Easter this weekend (or are jumping for joy that Spring is slowly kicking Winter’s butt), we hope it was and is fabulous! Here are some links to make your weekend that much sweeter.

Best Advice—In preparation for our new Wise Women series, we thought these 45 tips from 90-year-old Regina Brett were perfect for any age!

45 lessons from a 90 year old woman via Pop SugarPOPSUGAR

Best Flower Power—Want to see what 8 million flower petals look like in living color?

What 8 million flower petals looks likeNick Meek

Best Spring Bites—Need a last-minute addition to your holiday table this weekend? Look no further than Dashing Dish’s 30 recipe roundup.

30 Spring and Easter recipes via Dashing DishDashing Dish

Best Gender Bending Convo—Here’s an interesting discussion on how men and women approach confidence differently. What’s your take?

The Confidence Code image by Edmon De HaroEdmon De Haro/The Atlantic

Best Buddies—This photo is just the beginning for Zoey and Jasper.

Grace Chon photographyGrace Chon

Best Uplifting Tear-Jerker—Decoding Annie Parker is a movie about two Women on Fire, 100%.

Best Beauty Buys—Spring clean your makeup bag and resupply with some of these cosmetic cult classics.

26 Holy grail beauty products that are worth it via Peggy Wang-Peggy Wang

Best Way to Declutter—Learn how to let go with 8 simple questions.

8 questions to declutter by Susan Co.jpgEmily Co

Wishing you a wonderful weekend!

xo

The Women on Fire team

P.S. Did you see this month’s Book To Live By yet?

April’s Book To Live By

This month’s Books To Live By selection highlights our April membership program theme—Everyday Etiquette To Help You Shine.

From the premier voice of American etiquette, now in its 18th edition, Emily Post’s guide to good manners has been updated to tackle current issues and social situations for a new generation to enjoy.

Our April selection is….


Emily Post’s Etiquette, 18th Edition (amazon link), by Peggy Post, Anna Post, Lizzie Post and Daniel Post Senning

Emily Post’s Etiquette, the quintessential guide to good manners, is a beloved classic that I grew up with. Through the dedication of Emily’s great-granddaughter-in-law, Peggy Post, and the Emily Post Institute, her legacy has transcended time.

Etiquette is often misunderstood to be intimidating, but this book is a beautiful, relatable reference to properly navigating professional and social situations with grace. The Post family has successfully translated the guidelines of the past for today’s technology-obsessed society.

Here is a small sample of the topics covered:

  • Social networking
  • Manners for children
  • Online dating
  • Family dynamics (children moving back home, caretaking for aging parents)
  • Technology in the workplace

I’ve found Emily Post’s Etiquette to be a fun conversation starter from its regular spot on my coffee table, and I love to give this title as a graduation or engagement gift.

You can even head over to EmilyPost.com for weekly blog posts and a larger overview of all that the Post Institute has to offer. I also suggest looking into some of Emily Post’s other titles: Wedding Etiquette and The Guide to Good Manners for Kids.

This book is a beautiful reminder that proper etiquette is really about respect—for those around you and for yourself. I hope you enjoy this updated classic as much as I do!

With lots of love ~

 

Links That Light Us Up

32nd Edition

Hello Women on Fire!

Welcome to another week of fabulous links from across the internet :) Here we go!

Best You Go Girl- Nothing says you go girl, like young ladies dressing up as important female figures.

Eunique Jones' Because of Them We CanEunique Jones’

 Best For Your Budget- Why not think about spring cleaning for your finances?

Top 50 Money Saving Tips via Martha Stewart.jpg

Best Airline Buckle Up- We always get a kick out of clever airline safety videos, so here are the top 11 according to Travel and Leisure.

11 Most entertaining airline safety videoTravel and Leisure

 Best Selfie- Our very own Linda Neff has embarked on the great #selfieadventure2014 / #selfiesforacause and to call it inspiring would be an understatement. Every day she features a charity, cause, or movement that deserves recognition, and we think it’s about time that the woman behind it all is recognized :)

Linda Neff #greatselfieadventure2014

 Best Heartbleed FAQ- Confused by the latest internet security issue and how it affects you? Us too, so here’s a helpful article.

How to heal from heartbleed

 

Best Sound Bite- Passed over to us by one of our youngest Women on Fire, Run to You by Pentatonix is worth a listen (or 10.)

 Best Treat- This is the PERFECT spring dessert for your Easter or weekend celebration.

Lemon Rosemary Layer Cake by Baker BettieBaker Bettie

 Best Garden Tech Tools- Bring your gardening to the next level with these nature inspired apps.

Top 10 gardening apps via Gardenista.jpg

We hope spring is sprouting in a yard, on a sidewalk or in a park near you this weekend. And as always let us know what’s lighting you up lately :)

xo

The Women on Fire team

Banish this word!

If you’re joining us for the first time, welcome.

Women on Fire is the place where women inspire women to learn, to share ups and downs, and to cheer each other on.  We are thrilled you’re in this circle of love and support!

One of the hallmarks of being a Woman on Fire is that we are aware of our powerful impact on others, and today I want to shine a light on a single word that hinders conversation and, in fact, can stop the flow of it right in its tracks.

We all know our word choices can influence and create meaning, especially for women who pride themselves to respond thoughtfully and caringly.

The offending word I’m about to mention deflates instead of enhances someone’s life.  It’s frequently offered up as a “compliment” or accompanied by a “just teasing.”

It’s a word that has the power to pull the rug right out from under another’s achievement, joy, excitement, or accomplishment.

*This week’s Pinspiration*

Pin To Share The Love

Find out on the blog at womenonfire.com

The word is JEALOUS.

You see it all of the time on social media.  And you hear it frequently when you tell someone your good news.

“Going to Aruba next week!”

Jealous.

“I landed my dream-come-true job and I still can’t believe it.”

Jealous.

“Having a long-awaited-for day off!”

Jealous.

These were actual examples taken recently from Facebook.

And to be technical about it, jealous isn’t even correctly used.  Most people mean they envy what you have or get to do.

Jealousy means fear of losing something you have to someone or something else as in “I’m jealousy guarding my vacation time.” Envy means that you want something that someone else has.

So, how do you feel when you eagerly announce something you’re proud of, are excited about, or are looking forward to  — and someone responds “I’m jealous.”?

It doesn’t feel good. It takes away from the joy. The conversation falls flat because what do you say to that?

And, that’s just one side of it.  It goes even deeper. The person who responds by saying she’s “jealous” is deflated, too.  Using that word energetically creates a distance between desire and believing you can truly have it.

By saying you’re jealous or envious, you set up yourself to believe good things happen to other people.  Not you.

I only raise this because as Women on Fire we are here to positively impact the world by uplifting it.

And, you deserve to have your successes and joys celebrated and supported – fully and with great enthusiasm!  No sideways responses accepted.

So, what do you say to someone when they respond to your joy or success by telling you they are “jealous”?  Please go to our blog and tell us what you’d say to them!

Having language to handle a situation like this is one of the best ways Women on Fire share the wealth of wisdom that runs deep in our community.  I look so forward to hearing your thoughts.

Have a great week and I’ll see you next week!

I’m off to celebrate the 80th birthday on April 9 of my amazing mother, who is Women on Fire member #000001! For more information about our monthly membership program, click here.

Don’t forget to leave your comment here.

Love,

Book recommendation for you!

This is a quick hello from me to you to tell you about a new book I’m excited about written by one of our Women on Fire. You may have met Linda Yellin at Women on Fire teas in New York City.  But if you’re new to our community, let me introduce you to her.


Linda Yellin (in red) with Women on Fire friends at a recent book signing for What Nora Knew: Holly Getty, Heike Vogel, Janina Serden Sebesky and Sarah Elizabeth Greer. (Photo by Christine Butler)

Linda is a former copywriter, journalist, and author to three books—Such a Lovely CoupleThe Last Blind Date, and the recently published What Nora Knew. Her thoughtful and witty essays and articles are frequently published in More Magazine.

What Nora Knew is a warm and hilarious novel that reads like your favorite Nora Ephron romantic comedy. It centers around main character Molly Hallberg, a recently divorced journalist, almost 40, who cynically dives headfirst into investigating and experiencing the dating world of New York City.

This story reminds you of all the awkward, tender and embarrassing moments experienced along the path to finding Mr. Right. With quick and playful dialogue, and a narrative that captures everything you ever loved about Ephron’s ability to re-create romance, What Nora Knew is a must read!

No matter your age or marital status, Linda’s clever and engaging words will leave you laughing from beginning to end.

And just so you don’t think I’m totally biased (she is a Woman on Fire after all), here are some of the other rave reviews What Nora Knew has already received.

“Beautifully emulating the Ephron-esque vibe, Linda Yellin’s easygoing style and light humor elicit plenty of laughs – and lots of introspection. A fun and delightful read.” ~ New York Journal of Books

“This lighthearted, fast-paced tale makes readers laugh out loud and root for the underdog.” ~ RT Book Reviews

I hope you will enjoy What Nora Knew as much as I did. And, congratulations to Linda for continuing the magic the late, great Nora Ephfron made on screen in this fun new book.

Happy Reading!

~Debbie

Links That Light Us Up

31st Edition

Hello Women on Fire!

Welcome back to a new week of lovely links! :)

Best Green Grub—Spring is not only in the air, but also in the kitchen with these gorgeously green recipes!

29 Gorgeously Green Spring Recipes- compiled by Rachel SandersRachel Sanders/BuzzFeed

Best Book Quiz—Are you a children’s book, a romance novel, a library book, a best-seller? Find out in this fun quiz!

QUIZ- What type of book are you?

Best Relaxation App—Woman on Fire Dr. Elivra Lang has just released the BEST relaxation app, Comfort Talk. Use these six- to 12-minute meditations to calm your nerves at a doctor’s appointment or during a stressful day.

Comfort Talk® App - How to relax at the doctor's office or ANYWHERE

Best Celeb Seflies—”Celebrities are just like us!” They like to post pics on instagram too!

15 celebrities that instagram like us via VogueVogue

Best Take On “Bossy”—We like what these little girls have to say about what #BossyIs . Thank you to SheKnows for continuing this conversation in the best possible way.

Best Photo Collage—National Geographic has been hosting a photo challenge called Your Shot, and it’s absolutely breathtaking. Trust us, you’ll want to take a look!

Your Shot- Love Snap via National GeographicNational Geographic/Your Shot

Best Time-Saving Tricks—Who wouldn’t love an extra hour or two every day?

3 ways to stop wasting time today by Bruce Kasanoff

Best Last-Minute Spring Break—Travel and Leisure will plan your Spring Break for you in case you waited until the last minute.

Weekend Getaways Planner from Travel and LeisureTravel and Leisure

We hope you enjoy your weekend, wherever you might be! Let us know what’s lighting you up lately below! :)

xo

The Women on Fire Team

P.S. Did you meet our amazing Woman on Fire for March? We would love to introduce you here!

She’s A Woman on Fire! Introducing Terri Cole

Welcome back to our ongoing series to introduce you to one another. She’s a Woman on Fire member and we want you to know her.  Please say hello to…

This month's Woman on Fire- Meet Terri Cole over at www.womenonfire.com

Terri Cole
New York, NY

  • Member number: 00182
  • Member since June 2013

Please tell us about YOU, your family and your work. What you are “on fire” about?

I am a psychotherapist and transformation expert. Seventeen years ago, I happily married my amazing husband, Victor Juhasz, and helped raise three sons, who were teenagers at the time.

I am on fire about teaching women how to “Kick the Crap” out of their fear mind (or Mafia Mind, as I like to call it) so they can create a life and career that thrills them. I am also on fire about being a grandma. I am so grateful for the hidden benefits of a blended family—“Look Ma, no stretch marks!” :)

How did you originally connect to Women on Fire?

I met Debbie Phillips in a restaurant in New York City and at first resisted talking to her because I had seen 18 therapy clients that day. But as you know, she is irresistible! We started talking and have never stopped.

What’s your favorite component of the Women on Fire membership?

I love connecting with other Women on Fire members and supporting their plans for positive world domination.

What’s your favorite part of the day?

Morning meditation with my husband, Vic.

What is the last book you read that you would recommend to other Women on Fire?

Desire Map, by my pal Danielle Laporte.

What is the one thing you’re most proud of?

Raising amazing sons, who make me proud on a daily basis. They are all so decent, talented and kind. There’s nothing better.

If you had an unexpected free day, how would you spend it?  

Wake up, meditate, do energy work, work out, get a massage, eat a great meal or two, and maybe binge watch my current throw-back guilty pleasure, Alias with Jennifer Garner on Netflix.

What is your favorite city in the world?

New York City.

Share a special Women on Fire moment or experience.

I loved introducing one of my closest friends, Lara Licharowicz, to Women on Fire, and watching her transform her life through the connections she made with this amazing group (both business and personal).

Name another Women on Fire member who has inspired you and tell why.

Lara Licharowicz, because she is successful, smart, incredibly talented and so generous. I feel blessed to know her and share her with Women on Fire.

What’s your big dream?

To use my platform to transform as many lives as possible in my time on planet Earth.

If you had the opportunity to teach a child one strategy that would help guide her life, what would that be?

To be mindful that, most of the time, fear is just a feeling. Use fear to inform your decisions rather than to dominate them.

What is something that we might be surprised to learn about you?

I used to run a talent agency before I became a psychotherapist/coach.

Name three women who have influenced your life, and tell what you’ve learned from each.

Kris Carr (crazysexylife.com):  Kris taught me the importance of eating clean and green juicing to maintain my health.

Danielle Laporte:  Danielle taught me to be true to myself. Years ago, she said to me, “Terri, you need to write about what you know. Speak your truth and it will resonate.”

Debbie Phillips:  Debbie taught me to believe in myself and to charge what I am worth! (Thanks, Deb! <3)

Who cheers you on?

My mom, Jan and my husband, Vic.

What is your favorite “pig-out” food?

Nicoletta’s gluten-free pizza, extra crispy.

What are the top three songs on your iPod right now?

Love Will Come to You by Indigo Girls

Piano by Ariana Grande

Where I Stood by Missy Higgins 

What is the biggest challenge you’ve ever faced and how did you overcome it?

Alcohol addiction. Cancer. Raising three angry teenagers. Being held up at gunpoint. It is hard to choose which was the biggest challenge, but I overcame all of them the same way: by never giving up; seeking help; having faith; leaning on friends, family, and my husband; and searching for higher learning.

What is your go-to self-care strategy?

Meditation.

When you reflect on your life so far, what are the first words that come to your mind?

Gratitude and joy.

More about Terri Cole, fabulous Woman on Fire…

Terri is a licensed therapist, strategist, adviser and mentor to well-known personalities from the fields of wellness, empowerment and entertainment. She hosts her own show on Hay House Radio every Monday at 12 noon Eastern.

She is honored to help clients remain present and grounded, despite life’s complexities, and acts as a catalyst for clarity of purpose, confident decision-making, and balanced success by providing sustainable, action-oriented solutions.

You can find more about Terri and her company Live Fearless and Free by visiting her website at TerriCole.com and can connect with her on Facebook here!

She’s A Woman on Fire! is compiled by senior writer Becky Adams.

Our special guest interview for April is…

Each month, our founder Debbie Phillips interviews an inspiring expert for monthly members.  If you’re not yet a member, please be our guest and listen in today for free to a clip of Debbie’s upcoming, candid interview with America’s foremost etiquette expert, Peggy Post.

She is the great-granddaughter-in-law of Emily Post, the definitive voice of American etiquette. Peggy is also an author, media personality and director of The Emily Post Institute.

Simply press PLAY on the image below to listen to a brief audio clip (2:36) of this fun and informative interview.

In the full interview, you’ll receive answers to questions such as:

  • How to make an introduction even when you can’t remember names
  • Email etiquette
  • Timelines for thank-you, condolence and follow-up notes
  • Wedding gift and shower guidelines for first and “encore” marriages
  • How to teach manners to children
  • The best way to help people observe rules in your home
  • And much, much more!

If you are already a monthly member, enjoy this sneak preview. You’ll receive the full interview package in your mailbox in early April.

If you aren’t yet a member and would like to receive the full interview with Peggy Post, along with personalized coaching materials, access to our monthly live video coaching call/chat with Debbie Phillips and many more benefits, I invite you to join us TODAY!

Click here to register to receive April’s monthly membership package. You only have 24 hours left to register to receive the full interview with Peggy Post. Registration ends on March 25, 2014.

Don’t miss out on this dynamic interview with tips and inspiration to help you become your very best!

Developing your “ask for help” muscle

Nothing makes me happier than when Women on Fire members get together to nurture and expand their dreams!


Writing from their hearts: Darlene Wade, Nancy Aronie, Dyana Robenalt, Elizabeth Cassidy, Carrie Mays and Jenifer Madson. (Photo courtesy of Jenifer Madson)

Such magic occurred this past weekend for women who attended our recent retreat speaker Nancy Aronie’s Writing From the Heart workshop in New York City.

And, while Women on Fire members were being inspired by brilliant Nancy Aronie and each other in New York, I was winging my way back to Naples, Florida from California.

I spent two days consulting with and being inspired by America’s #1 success coach and co-creator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul book series, Jack Canfield at his home in Santa Barbara.

He and his company’s CEO Patty Aubery praised our latest Women on Fire book and gave me great advice on how to reach more women so they, too, can be connected to the inspiration, strategies and support found here.

But it was not the fascinating business strategies and discussion at Jack’s house that I would immediately put to use.

*This week’s Pinspiration*

Pin to Share the Love

Learn how to 'ask for help' in this week's SPARK from Women on Fire®

As we said goodbye, Jack gifted me a book he co-authored with Mark Victor Hansen – The Aladdin Factor – with the provocative line on its back cover: Anything is possible…if you dare to ask!

At Women on Fire, we talk a lot about learning to ask for help.  It’s even one of the aspirations we’ve set out for ourselves: I can ask for help.

And yet most of us admit we aren’t so great at it.

Some of us dream to be like Woman on Fire Agapi Stassinopoulos, author of Unbinding the Heart, and the subject of a past Women on Fire monthly interview.

In her wonderfully charming way, Agapi revealed her philosophy and how she learned to ask for help.

“This directness was something that my mother taught me … to simply ask people in a gracious way for whatever I might want from them.

“I am ruthless. I will ask for anything. I will ask absolutely for anything. I ask people all the time in a particular situation—at the airport—I ask people to help me with my baggage. I see a nice man next to me and I ask, “Do you mind helping me?” Sometimes men get up and they help me and sometimes I say, “Would you mind helping me?” Nine times out of ten they are very happy to help.

“To ask for help you have to not have a fear of being rejected. Not to feel that if people say, ‘no, I can’t’ that you’re not going to collapse inside and feel that they don’t want you. It takes a certain confidence and a certain self-esteem and a certain feeling good about yourself that you’re worthy of asking for help. That you’re worth asking for help.”

With Agapi’s asking abilities on my mind, on the first leg of my flight home from Jack’s house, I devoured his book, determined to put into practice his wisdom:

  • You get what you ask for
  • The answer is yes …but you have to ask!
  • There is a price you pay for not asking
  • She kept asking…and she got it
  • If you don’t ask, you don’t get
  • Asking improves our chances of receiving by 200 percent!
  • You can ask for anything

Emboldened, on the second, three-hour leg of my flight, I had no idea I was about to test my “asking” wings when a drunken, vulgar-mouthed young man stepped over me and plopped down in the window seat next to me.

At first I thought I would simply ignore his crudeness, swearing and wild attempts to engage me in conversation, including calling me “uptight” and “baby.”

Next, I considered silently slipping a note to the flight attendant to tattle on his outlandish behavior.

But I stopped myself. I realized this was situation where I needed to ask for help. Jack was right.  There would be a price to pay for not asking — a rough and uncomfortable three hours.

So, I unbuckled my seatbelt, walked to the front of the cabin and told the flight attendant that “the man next to me is inappropriate and I need your help to remove him.”

The Captain appeared within seconds, and in very short order, installed a burly man next to the offending man and moved me to a more comfortable seat.

I’m embarrassed to say that in the past I would have been concerned about the drunken man. I wouldn’t have wanted to humiliate him by making a scene nor would I have wanted to put out anyone else by changing seats.

What I also would have feared in the past did happen. The drunken man made degoratory comments when I moved.  I didn’t care.

The burly man was able to handle the drunk with great dispatch, even telling him to sit in his seat and stop speaking.  Surprisingly, the young man complied and was mostly quiet (and snoring) the rest of the trip.

Usually when I think about asking for help it’s along the lines of making a request to build a business, asking for additional support to lighten a load, or inviting others to participate to expand opportunity.

But, sometimes, asking for help means to simply keep yourself safe and out of harm’s way.

Please join me this week in a challenge to ask for help at least once each day this week. Share your courage and success so we can cheer you on in the comment section of our blog.

Thank you for being a part of this amazing community — and welcome to our more than 100 new readers of this week’s SPARK! We are thrilled you’ve joined us.

Now, go ask for help for something that will enrich your life! :-)

Love,

Links That Light Us Up

30th Edition

Hello Women on Fire!

We are BACK with some more fabulous links this week. Take a look! :)

Best Breakfast Bite—Who said you can’t have cookies for breakfast? Kristin Porter proves the naysayers wrong with these delicious Lemon Blackberry Breakfast Cookies! (They’re gluten-, dairy- and egg-free too!)

Iowa Girl Eats- Lemon Blackberry breakfast cookiesIowa Girl Eats

Best Mood Boost—Check out these 64 unbelievable facts that will have you smiling ear to ear by the time you’re done.

64 Mind Blowing facts that will made you happy- Tanner Ringerud

Best Spring View—Although you may not be the hiking type, we doubt that you’ll be able to resist these views! Try one of the top 10 hikes for Spring 2014.

Canada, Alberta, Rockies, Waterton Lake Park, Colorful Boats Along Pier.Education Images via Getty Images

Best Happy Hour—Are alcohol and appetizers coming to a Starbucks near you?

Starbucks to start serving AlcoholStarbucks

Best Adventure EVER—Welcome to COSMOS—your new Sunday night!

Best Upgrade—This list will have you daydreaming about your next remodeling project.

33 Insanely Clever Upgrades to Make in Your Home- via BuzzfeedBuzzFeed

Best New Do—Why not welcome Spring with a fresh new cut?

5 New cuts to try this spring from Elle Mag.Elle Magazine

Best Brag—Learn how to master the art of self-promotion with these 6 quick tips!

6 Tips to master the art of self promotion and getting your work discovered- Jessica Grose

We hope these links light up your weekend, and we look forward to seeing you back here next week!

xox

The Women on Fire Team

P.S. Have you picked up a copy our Book To Live By for March yet?