Celebrating More…and Less!

October 24, 2011 By 2 Comments

I am home from Lake Austin Spa Resort in Texas where we celebrated MORE Magazine’s November issue that features Women on Fire.  And, in loving every moment at Lake Austin Spa, I certainly was cherishing LESS stress!

The simplicity and focus on nature, delicious, healthy meals, exercise, massages and inspiring connections with other women renewed my very being and re-energized me to take on the world.


While at Lake Austin Spa, Jamie and I went on a 2-hour hike and boat trip. Here I am on a parched river bed, which seemed to me like walking on the moon!

Woman on Fire Jamie Eslinger accompanied me to the spa (we were working, afterall, as we were each giving two talks!) and she made several videos I hope you get a chance to watch.  Here’s me saying good-bye on our last day in Texas in my favorite chair and room in the spa’s Garden Library.

Have you ever been to a spa?  Or have you wished to go but fear it is too expensive, frivolous or snobby?

My first visit to a spa was more than 20 years ago to the now-closed Bonaventure Spa in Florida. It’s where I first learned about the life-changing  benefits of taking better care of myself.

My best friend Jan Allen set up the trip. Back then, she knew I was so exhausted from my workaholic life that I didn’t know which end was up.

In fact, the restorative yoga class I took on my first day at the Bonaventure, I fell asleep — and woke up an hour after everyone else had left the room!

Investing in yourself is one of Women on Fire’s most meaningful aspirations.

And, I am here to tell you that investing in a spa experience can be a very powerful way to heal, to kickstart your next steps, to meet other inspiring women, and to bolster your health so you feel strong and vibrant to take on your dreams.

In addition to wonderful amenities at a spa, the peace, calm and quiet usually found at a spa — to think, nap, read a book or gaze into the sky — often results in less becoming more in your life.

I have returned home feeling lighter and brighter and even more excited for what is next.  The time at the spa gave me just the boost I needed to keep going toward my own dreams.

Plus, I brought a bit of the spa home with me. Jamie and I discovered a great healthy raw veggie salad with grilled salmon that I plan to duplicate at home!


Spa food is usually beautiful — and healthy. This recipe’s going home with me!

What are the investments in yourself that you are making in your own life right now?  How are they making a difference for you?  Please share in the comments section below.

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Video: I think you’ll like this SPA-RK!

October 17, 2011 By 2 Comments

Today feels like a holiday to me.  To see why, check out this video!

I am with Woman on Fire Jamie Eslinger and we are headed to Lake Austin Spa in Texas.

It’s our annual speaking engagement at the spa’s Wise Women Week  – yes, really we are working :-) .

But you bet in between our talks we are set to take advantage of the fun and relaxation at our favorite spa – and we want you to come with us!

Coming up this week, we plan to share with YOU everything we will be teaching to others and all the new things we will learn and discover.

At the spa, I will speak on these topics:  “Don’t Let What Scares You STOP You!” and “How To Live Your Dreams Like a Woman on Fire.”

If you remember our trip last year to Lake Austin Spa, it was there that Jamie made the decision to stop purchasing clothes or shoes for a year – and instead invest in her potential – in her head, heart, body and soul.

To keep herself on track, she agreed to write about it every single day and her very popular blog The Promise 365 was born. Today is Day 289 of that promise to herself.

So, it will be with great joy this week when Jamie presents to women at the spa her signature talk:  “You Can Do Anything – In One Year.”  She has done it and you can, too!

In addition to her brilliant work at Women on Fire, Jamie is a graduate of the Institute of Integrative Nutrition and she’ll also talk about her personal experience “Beating The Sugar Blues.”

You can join us and interact with us all week in the comments section below.

And, I was serious when I said I want you to come with us.

If there is anything you wish for Jamie and me to do or try this week at the spa, just leave word in the comments section below.  We will be choosing from among your suggestions. And, then report back to you!

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Breast Cancer Awareness Month: tattooing life on your chest

October 13, 2011 By 4 Comments

Photo by Rob Berkley

I love stories when fear, sadness or heartbreak transform into experiences of inspiration, courage and creativity.

Today I want to share with you just such a story.  And, it’s personal to me because the women involved are two women I love and work the closest with at Women on Fire — Jamie Eslinger and Blue Cullen.

I know none of us is untouched by cancer.

And, because October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, what Jamie and Blue have to share couldn’t have arrived at a better time. Maybe you, too, even have a “dots” story to share.  Below is their story, written by Jamie in her inspiring daily blog The Promise 365.

 —————————————————

Breast cancer tattooing life on your chest
by Jamie Eslinger


I have four or five tattoos on my body.
Honestly, I lost count after number four.  There could be five or six for all I know.

There is one tattoo right under my chin.  Another on my chest and on my belly.  I think there could be one or two more on my sides as well.

I didn’t choose my tattoos.
They were given to me as part of the cancer treatment du jour.

The thing is, the timing was perfect. It was right around the hot pop trend of teenage girls donning tattoos. Mostly around their ankles, with little butterflies and dolphins.  It wasn’t really rebellious, it was more of a statement of independence.

Tattoos were still somewhat taboo, but these dainty little decorations seemed to be graciously accepted in the teeny-bop set.  Well, to be fair, it was the age of grunge.

Regardless, I have always loved mine, the little dots the size of a pinhead lining the middle of my chest, neck and chin. In fact, whenever the conversation of tattoos appears, I proudly announce that I have many.

They are like battle wounds, prized possessions, marked memories. And, like most tattoos, they speak louder than words about where one has been and what one knows.

So, today, I was thrilled to learn someone I work with everyday at Women on Fire also has tattoos of the survivor kind.  This morning, Blue asked me, “Hey, Jamie, did you know I am a cancer survivor, too?”

I didn’t know.
We immediately embraced in that sisterly hug of a shared cancer connection.  Then Blue shared the story of her tattoo.

Instead of just being marked with the map of radiation dots for breast cancer treatment, Blue turned one dot into a meaningful memory by having it morphed into the OM symbol.

It reminds me of watching those old The Joy of Painting television shows when I was a little girl.  I loved seeing how Bob Ross would turn a smudge here or a drip there into a beautiful swan or a lovely tree.

There are no mistakes.
Just happy accidents.

And, I guess that’s how I feel about Blue’s tattoo ~ what a happy accident.  Nobody would ask for cancer or any of the side effects it comes with, including tattoos.  But, what a way to turn a gentle reminder about survival into a beautiful prayer for life.

Thank you Blue, for letting me share it here, too.
It’s good inspiration for the body and soul — proudly worn right over your heart.

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How to find time for you?

October 12, 2011 By 2 Comments

One of the great joys in my work is that when women learn what I do they often eagerly share with me what they are “on fire” about  — and what they struggle with.

Hands down, the number one issue and challenge I hear is this: “how do I find time for me?”


Last week at my very favorite Charles Hotel in Cambridge, MA — 36 hours of sheer bliss!

And, they aren’t the only ones confounded by that.  I know first hand what they are talking about.  Because I, too, struggle with having enough time for me.

And, I don’t even have children of my own.  Just a husband and a 17-pound cat!

Over the years, as a life and executive coach, I frequently worked to help women find time for themselves.

There was the corporate CEO who got up 30 minutes earlier every day so she could stretch to a yoga DVD; the stay-at-home mom of two who scheduled a date with herself every Tuesday night at her local Starbuck’s so she could read and write; the physician who scheduled a weekly massage — no matter what.

Today, as a speaker, writer and an entrepreneur running a company, I am keenly aware of how hard it is to find time for quiet, for exploration, for relaxation and fun.

Yet, along the way, I discovered one major strategy that moves mountains  toward solving the time-for-me problem.

Time for me must be scheduled!

No ifs, ands, or buts about it.  If time for me is not designated on the calendar, we are at the whim of our busyness, and work or others’ needs almost always win out.

Scheduling time for yourself is NOT about being pampered.  Time for yourself is essential to your health, your vibrancy, your ability to keep on going and your peace of mind.

For years, the motivational speaker Zig Ziglar made the point of how important it is take care of ourselves by asking audiences:

If you had a million dollar racehorse, would you keep him up all night, smoking and drinking coffee and booze and eating junk food?

If you did, how many races would he win? Obviously, horses can’t smoke or drink booze. But if they could, no sensible owner would subject one to that kind of treatment.

Yet, in the race for life, many people abuse their bodies, even as they observe the idea that if you’ve got your health, you’ve got everything.

We are those million dollar racehorses — and treating ourselves as we are is the key to our success for whatever we dream or desire.  That I know for sure, as Oprah would say!

Are you wondering what scheduling me-time has to do with the picture of me above in a hotel room?  Well, I happen to LOVE nice hotel rooms.

So, on occasion, I schedule time for just me in a beautiful hotel room.

It’s where some of my best ideas have been hatched!  Something about the comfy, clutter-free environment, the ability to order room service, and the simplicity of one lovely room frees my mind and puts my cares on hold.

If you have favorite me-time moments or strategies, please share with us in the comments section below.

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It. Was. Magnificent!

October 3, 2011 By Leave a Comment

The long-awaited Women on Fire Day in Columbus, Ohio is over.

And the joy from the love, inspiration, new and rekindled friendships, wisdom and great energy from the day still lingers.  Proving once again that “isolation is the dream-killer” and we can do so much more in the company of each other than alone!

Nearly 150 women from 17 states ranging in age from teens to 80s came to Ohio for the day filled with inspiration, strategies and support.

Here are a few highlights from the day’s photos in this video by Jamie Eslinger.

Do you see yourself or recognize other Women on Fire in the video?  No matter, I hope you will be uplifted to see so many women “on fire” in one room cheering on each other’s success!

Huge thanks to ALL of these Women on Fire for making the day so special:

* Jan Allen for organizing and hosting this amazing day at the gorgeous Franklin Park Conservatory.

* Keynote speaker — the one and only, five-time Emmy Award-winning producer, writer and star of her own show on SiriusXM — Janette Barber

* Panelists who spoke from their hearts about their lives: Liz Lessner, Debi Lilly, Mary Ellen Jones

* Women on Fire book co-authors who shared their stories from the book and gave an update on where they are today: Allison Barry, Lori Gagnon, Holly Getty, Mary Ellen Jones, Shannon McCaffery, Ginny Barney and Patti Wynn Brown.

* Our super-human and inexhaustible volunteers: Tandi Musuraca, Tricia Simpson, Angela Ittu, Kim Dettmer and Sandra Gurvis.

*  During Women on Fire Day, Andrea Dowding was honored for coaching so many women to success. The day was dedicated to her for her unflinching determination to help women and girls share their gifts, strengths and talents with the world. 

Since 2008, Andrea has led Women on Fire coaching groups and teas, along with Jerry Browning.

* Women on Fire and Sophfronia Scott presented the first annual Theo Scott Scholarship to inspiring, young entrepreneur Nicole Lovett.  The award was in honor of Sophfronia’s sister Theo who died this past summer and had planned to attend Women on Fire Day.

* Thank you to photographer Nancy Lambert who deftly assembled 150 women to take that final amazing photo in the video!

Thank you so much for being a part of our powerful and ever-expanding circle of love, inspiration and caring.

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Who’d miss you? Your tribe!

September 25, 2011 By 1 Comment

“It’s true that we want to be part of a tribe. What’s not true is that it must be the uber tribe, the one and only mass tribe, the center of the curve. Our own little circle is in fact what we really want.”  ~ Seth Godin

Want to see one of my all-time favorite photos?


Women on Fire gathering in Chicago, 2010 (Heather Stone Photo)

The reason I love the picture so much is because this is my tribe.

These are the women who inspire me with their enthusiasm, humor and courage. The women who lift me up to my higher self.  The women who genuinely want more for other women and are there to cheer each other on.

What a tribe we are. Coming together to inspire and support each other’s dreams. And, I love belonging to it.


Women on Fire in Columbus, Ohio, June 2011 (Jamie Eslinger Photo)

We have our own ways of being and doing that feel right and comfortable and connecting to us.  But that doesn’t mean our tribe is for everyone, nor should it be.

A few months ago at a Women on Fire Tea, a perfectly lovely and polite woman was a first-time attendee.  Afterward, she announced privately to the friend who brought her that she feared Women on Fire was a “cult.”

I laughed!  And was not the least bit offended.  I knew that our particular tribe simply wasn’t her cup of tea (so to speak!)

She left the tea, declaring she’d never return, but instead would be starting her own group – a running club for women.

Good for her!  She wanted, as Seth Godin points out, her “own little circle.”  And, that’s exactly as it should be.  A circle or a tribe where you feel you belong.

Who and what do you want to be a part of?  Who would miss you if you weren’t there? What kind of tribe uplifts you, provides what you need, feels right to you?

You can belong to many different tribes.  In my life, I have a best friend circle, a family circle, an extended family circle, a writers’ circle.


Some of the many members of my extended family tribe. (Rob Berkley Photo)

At other times in my life, I have belonged to circles for yoga, grief support, spirituality, tennis, and business mastermind groups.

What tribes do you belong to? Do you need to update them? Find new ones? Get more involved in the ones you have?

My tribe-of-all-tribes, circle-of-all-circles, is Women on Fire.  And, I hope it serves you in your life, too. (Or, you probably wouldn’t be reading this!)

So it is with great joy and exuberance that I am packing my bags and heading to Columbus, Ohio to be with my people!

Our long-awaited Women on Fire Day of inspiration, strategies and support, hosted by Jan Allen, is Friday, September 30.  I can’t wait to see so many of you in person. And, to introduce you to each other, including:

  • Keynote speaker Janette Barber
  • Panelists: Debi Lilly, Liz Lessner and M.E. Jones
  • Women on Fire Book Co-Authors: Ginny Barney, Allison Barry, Holly Getty, Lori Gagnon, Patricia Wynn Brown, Andrea Dowding, M.E. Jones, Shannon McCaffery … and me!

If you can’t be with us in person, we will miss you very much.  But no worries. You can still be with us!

Through social media, our reporter Renata Ramsini will share the day’s happenings so you can be part of the fun, and I hope you will.

So stay tuned to Facebook and Twitter (#WomenOnFire #WOFDay).

And, next week I’ll talk about just how good it felt to spend time with our fascinating, inspiring tribe.  Women who are most definitely my cup of tea!

 

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You can’t stop a Woman on Fire!

September 18, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Today I am introducing you to a Woman on Fire whose inspiring mid-career choice was one she might never have predicted or imagined.  It happened because she was just following her heart.

Pier Boutin, of Housatonic, Massachusetts, was hiking in a mountainous village in Morocco last year when her eye caught the tiny figures of a little boy stumbling and his five-year-old sister helping him up as he fell down with each step.

The little boy had a serious and debilitating case of “club feet” and Pier, a mother and an orthopedic surgeon, was drawn to this little boy and knew she had to do something.


Dr. Pier Boutin with “Little Amed” at home in the Berkshires; his legs are in casts from his groin to his toes; only 4, and far from his home in Morocco, he rarely cries and brings such love and presence to his American family!

In the village, she met the little boy’s family who speak Berber.  Through translators she explained that she could help him.  In his village, a deformity such as his would prevent him from receiving an education or being employed.

Pier did what a Woman on Fire does.  She returned to the United States and  put to work every skill she possessed to change the course of life for this captivating and beautiful little boy she could not leave behind.  Nothing would stop her then — or now.

She raised money, organized his many surgeries and medical care, made arrangements for travel (he and his father had never ridden in a car much less fly on a plane to the U.S.) and that’s just the beginning.

She and her husband Dr. Mark Hyman, who are already parents of four, prepared and opened their home to love, nurture and protect Little Amedduring his many months’-long stay and extensive medical care and recovery.

And, Pier has done it all with such gratitude for Little Amed’s parents, marveling that they would trust her with their precious child.

Dr. Mark Hyman, Dr. Pier Boutin and Little Amed
Drs. Mark Hyman and Pier Boutin joyfully playing with Little Amed who loves Superheroes especially Spiderman

These past few months since Little Amed has joined the Boutin-Hyman family , Pier sends regular updates about the little boy who has changedtheir lives.

When I see her emails in my inbox (and especially after I got to meet the amazing Little Amed last June), I always prepare for happy tears at the latest happenings with this darling child.

Here is an excerpt from Pier’s most recent update:

Little Amed is blossoming. He looks forward to school every morning.  He chooses his clothes for school and helps me prepare his snack every night.  He is so proud to hobble to class pulling his little backpack on wheels. At night, we have to hang his new drawings by his bed.

His teachers have integrated him and welcomed him wholeheartedly.  The children, not only in his class, but in the entire school have followed suit.  For example, Little Amed cannot run and play with a ball like the others, so one day he started to roll in the grass.  The kids apparently thought this was so funny and fun!  They all started rolling in the grass kicking their feet up laughing!

Little Amed is thrilled to attend school.  I wish every child could attend class with the same enthusiasm.

And, here is what I mean about Pier living the life of a Woman on Fire. She is living full out and, in doing so, at every turn the universe has risen to help her:

The kindness and innate humanity always shines through hardships. Today, I mention one of so many people who have come forward to help Little Amed, Mohamed Zabian.

While in the mountains of Morocco, the “I love you” watch my husband gave me years ago fell apart.  Upon my return (to the Berkshires), I immediately took it to Mohamed Zabian Jewelers.

While completing the paperwork, I mentioned I had a little boy with the same name at my house.  I proceeded to explain how I came upon this wonderful little boy with clubfeet.  Mr. Zabian asked to be added to my mailing list.  As I left, I asked for directions to St. Mary’s School.  I thought Little Amed should go to school, play with kids his own age, and learn to speak English.

Mr. Zabian knew St. Mary’s school had already started and there was a waiting list.  Enrollment was complete and the school was expensive.  Despite this, I decided I would plead Little Amed’s case to the school. Perhaps St. Mary’s would let him go there one or two mornings a week.

 Mohamed Zabian instructed me to go home and he would call me about the school the next day. Well! He certainly followed through for Little Amed and me. The very next day, Little Amed enrolled at St. Mary’s full time with the tuition paid in full.  Doesn’t it make your heart sing to hear of such generosity!

Dr. Mark Hyman, Dr. Pier Boutin, Debbie Phillips and Little Amed
 Dinner at the Hyman-Boutin home is not only fresh from their garden as they promote good health for all but full of love and life with Little Amed in the house! (Photos by Rob Berkley)

You are welcome to read more inspiration and to follow Pier and Little Ahmed’s latest surgeries and adventures by going to these sites:

Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Little-Amed/146240092113654

Blog: http://helpahmedwalk.wordpress.com/

Info/donation page: http://www.ultrawellnesscenter.com/little-mo-charity/


Here I am with Little Amed…I, too, fell in love with this little angel boy who will undergo further major surgery September 27.  And, after his recovery, he will be able to run and play with all the other children!  

And, last…

A huge and warm welcome to the many of you who’ve joined the SPARK!this week after hearing Janette Barber interview me on her show on Sirius XM or you read the profile that Capital Style Magazine EditorKristy Eckert wrote about Woman on Fire. We are so happy you are here!

Also, in less than two weeks, 150 women will gather in Columbus, Ohio for Women on Fire Day featuring keynote speaker Janette Barber, the Women on Fire book co-authors, and a panel featuring Debi Lilly, Liz Lessner and Mary Ellen Jones.

The event has sold out.  I can’t wait to see all of you there!

I’d love to hear how the universe has risen to help you when you’ve lived your life “full out.” Please share your thoughts below in the comments section.

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Bonds forged

September 12, 2011 By Leave a Comment

“Tomorrow the birds will sing.” ~ Charlie Chaplin in City Lights

At the moment, I’m sitting cross-legged on the floor in the JetBlue terminal at JFK Airport in New York.  Curiously, I hear birds twittering high above me in the ceiling rafters.

For the first time in my memory, a voice over the loudspeaker asks everyone in the terminal to stop what we are doing.  And, then invites us to observe a minute of silence in memory of the anniversary of 9/11.

Nearly everyone complies and the silence is eery and powerful.

The birds, however, keep singing.  And, I think ‘how perfect.’

When I was a little girl and the chips were down, or things weren’t going well, or I was struggling with grief, my ever-positive Dad would remind me that  “tomorrow the birds will sing.”  Maybe that phrase has inspired you, too.

After the minute is observed and the loudspeaker voice thanks us for honoring 9/11, people seem to move through the airport in a more connected way.

We are talking to each other, smiling at each other, noticing each other.

Some of us are teary.

Yet, in surviving the day of that awful, awful tragedy, only a stone’s throw from this airport, a bond among us humans is forged.

And yes, the birds are singing.

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Is your life falling into place?

September 5, 2011 By Leave a Comment

I was having one of “those” days today.  Nothing felt easy.  Computer glitches. The kitty had a huge, stinky accident on the bed. (I will spare you the photo!) I didn’t want to work on a holiday, but I felt overwhelmed with all I have to do so I did.

A few hours ago, my life did not feel like it was falling into place.

In fact, I fell down the rabbit hole and was thinking “help, get me outta here.” I know you’ve been there, too.

Yet, at this very moment, in a surprising turnaround, all is well and I am back on track.  What turned my cranky self around?

I remembered what my wonderfully positive Dad did for our family every Labor Day (back in the days when the first day of school was the Tuesday after Labor Day!)

He gathered together the five of us kids for a “family meeting” and gave us a pep talk about how we had choices for our new school year and for our lives to fall into place.

Were we going to get up late for school and miss the bus?  Or were we going to go to bed early and wake up in time and go in an easy flow?

Were we going to do our homework?  Or were we going to procrastinate and suffer the consequences of not having it done by getting poor grades?

Were we going to fuss and cry and fight with each other getting ready for school in the mornings?  Or, were we going to “greet each day with love in our hearts?”

Were we going to be negative and look at the glass half-empty?  Or, were we going to be positive and see the glass half-full?

You get the idea.  All these years later, my Dad’s words rushed back to me — just in time to save the day.  They melted my heart and helped me to stop and take a breath.  I had choices to get my life to fall back into place.

My glass half-full life is filled with so much love and support. All I needed to do was tap into it.  I did and it made a difference.  My husband Rob and my Women on Fire colleagues Jan Allen and Jamie Eslinger were at the ready today…as they always are.

I just needed love…and support…and friends…and understanding.  It was all right there waiting for me.  I had to make the choice of which direction I was going.

Thanks, Dad.  Your annual “special talks” on Labor Day still work decades later!

What do you do to get your life on track when it feels derailed?  What words of wisdom show up for you when you’re feeling down?  Did you get a new school year pep talk — or do you give one to your kids now? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section below. I’d love to hear.

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My escape into life

August 21, 2011 By 1 Comment

Forgive me for being exhausted today.  I stayed up way, way too late reading the just-released biography of the late playwright Wendy Wasserstein – Wendy And The Lost Boys: The Uncommon Life of Wendy Wasserstein by Julie Salamon.


Rob got a big chuckle out of finding me burrowed in with my hand still attached to my iPad after I stayed up half the night reading. Do books ever captivate you like that?

Even though I knew I’d pay the price today in being tired and feeling behind the curve, I was so fascinated by Wendy’s life that I ignored the clock and kept reading until well past 3AM!

And, I’m glad I did.

For any of you who has ever attended an all-women’s college, or read Wendy’s novel Elements of Style, or essays Shiksa Goddess, Or How I Spent My Forties, or seen The Heidi Chroniclesor The Sisters Rosensweig on Broadway, you know what a unique and humorous role Wendycarved out to illuminate women and the Baby Boom generation.

To me, she was even more fascinating in real life.  She never married, had mystery “husbands” and she gave birth for the first time at age 48 to a daughter.  Seven years later, in 2006, Wendydied.  Part of the reason I stayed up so late, thumbing furiously through my iPad was to find out what happened to her little girl.

Before I got locked on to Wendy and The Lost Boys, I also was nose deep last week into another inspiring and thought-provoking book  Tolstoy and the Purple Chair: My Year of Magical Reading by Nina Sankovitch.

The author of this page-turner lost her beloved older sister at age 46 to cancer.  After her sister’s death, Nina consiously side-stepped her grief and sped full force into activity because she believed she had “to live for two.”

Three years later, exhausted, and with her own 46th birthday approaching, Nina stopped running and starting grieving by reading books she and her sister would have loved and discussed.  For one full year, she read a book every day and wrote a review of it.

She did so, she explained, “not as an escape from life, but an escape back into life.”

What Wendy Wasserstein’s and Nina Sankovitch’s lives have in common are powerful stories that give us a front row seat into another woman’s rich and varied life and the strategies they used to live their lives.

When I find women like that I hold on tight and wish to squeeze out every ounce of wisdom and understanding they have to share.  So I stay up half the night!

When was the last time you were captivated by a book?  I have my own take on that famous saying “you can never be too rich or too thin.” Rather, I believe: you can never have enough books.

Please share your own story about a book that captured your attention below in the comments section. I’d love to hear.

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