How often do you cheer on yourself?

All you have to do is look at this picture and you’ll understand why I am dawdling to leave the paradise of the W Hotel and Bliss Spa in Scottsdale, Arizona!

The infinity pool at the W Hotel in Scottsdale, Arizona

I’ve been here for the past few days attending a women’s conference hosted by Life Coach and O Magazine columnist Martha Beck, coaches and authors Susan Hyatt and Brooke Castillo.

Cheering on the success of other women is one of the most important of all Women on Fire aspirations.

So, you can imagine my surprise when I discovered during the conference sessions that I may be good at cheering on other women.  But how good am I at cheering on myself?  Not very.

Martha insisted if we took away one key message it would be “the key to living a balanced life is being in a state of peace.”

There are many ways to train ourselves to be calm and peaceful and one way is how we treat and speak to ourselves.

“I get up in the mornings and imagine I’m receiving a standing ovation,” said Brooke Castillo, author of If I’m So Smart, Why Can’t I Lose Weight? “Can you imagine a better way to start your day?”

Many of us grew up believing if we were to think too highly of ourselves (as though that were even possible!) we were “full of it.”

As a 5th grader, I remember standing for hours in front of a mirror, brushing and admiring my shiny, long hair, mesmerized by my natural red highlights.

An adult casually walked by and commented, “If you keep looking in the mirror like that people will think you’re vain.”

The only person I ever knew to be vain was Cruella De Vil!  Ooooh, didn’t want to be like her.

That’s probably when me-cheering-on-me took a hike.

In Scottsdale, there was much discussion about how to more lovingly talk to ourselves. Many of us laughed embarrassingly that we’d never speak to a stranger the way we often harshly talk to ourselves.

So, I left a most inspiring weekend resolved to more carefully watch my words to myself – no mean girl talk ever – and the incentive to being kinder to me leads to a more balanced, peaceful existence.

A few minutes ago, as I was leaving my hotel room, my gut told me to turn around and look back into the room.  Only then did I spy the sleeve of my favorite cashmere sweater dangling from seat the desk chair.

Then, I heard a voice: “Way to go. You are so smart to listen to your intuition. Good job!”

Hey, it was me cheering on me!

How do you speak to your self?  Are you aware of criticism and negative self-talk you subject yourself to? Do you have any rituals to cheer on and encourage yourself?  I’d love you to share in the comments section below.

Much love,