Banish this word!

If you’re joining us for the first time, welcome.

Women on Fire is the place where women inspire women to learn, to share ups and downs, and to cheer each other on.  We are thrilled you’re in this circle of love and support!

One of the hallmarks of being a Woman on Fire is that we are aware of our powerful impact on others, and today I want to shine a light on a single word that hinders conversation and, in fact, can stop the flow of it right in its tracks.

We all know our word choices can influence and create meaning, especially for women who pride themselves to respond thoughtfully and caringly.

The offending word I’m about to mention deflates instead of enhances someone’s life.  It’s frequently offered up as a “compliment” or accompanied by a “just teasing.”

It’s a word that has the power to pull the rug right out from under another’s achievement, joy, excitement, or accomplishment.

*This week’s Pinspiration*

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The word is JEALOUS.

You see it all of the time on social media.  And you hear it frequently when you tell someone your good news.

“Going to Aruba next week!”


“I landed my dream-come-true job and I still can’t believe it.”


“Having a long-awaited-for day off!”


These were actual examples taken recently from Facebook.

And to be technical about it, jealous isn’t even correctly used.  Most people mean they envy what you have or get to do.

Jealousy means fear of losing something you have to someone or something else as in “I’m jealousy guarding my vacation time.” Envy means that you want something that someone else has.

So, how do you feel when you eagerly announce something you’re proud of, are excited about, or are looking forward to  — and someone responds “I’m jealous.”?

It doesn’t feel good. It takes away from the joy. The conversation falls flat because what do you say to that?

And, that’s just one side of it.  It goes even deeper. The person who responds by saying she’s “jealous” is deflated, too.  Using that word energetically creates a distance between desire and believing you can truly have it.

By saying you’re jealous or envious, you set up yourself to believe good things happen to other people.  Not you.

I only raise this because as Women on Fire we are here to positively impact the world by uplifting it.

And, you deserve to have your successes and joys celebrated and supported – fully and with great enthusiasm!  No sideways responses accepted.

So, what do you say to someone when they respond to your joy or success by telling you they are “jealous”?  Please go to our blog and tell us what you’d say to them!

Having language to handle a situation like this is one of the best ways Women on Fire share the wealth of wisdom that runs deep in our community.  I look so forward to hearing your thoughts.

Have a great week and I’ll see you next week!

I’m off to celebrate the 80th birthday on April 9 of my amazing mother, who is Women on Fire member #000001! For more information about our monthly membership program, click here.

Don’t forget to leave your comment here.


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