In the first two decades of my varied career – as a newspaper reporter, Governor’s press secretary and television company executive – I operated in public but never really stood alone with my own desires, views and opinions.
After I became a coach in 1995, an awareness crept upon me.
If I didn’t stand up publicly for what I truly believed in, no matter how much I talked about it behind the scenes, I would never be able to fulfill my own burning desire to help enough women to live lives they dream of.
By standing in the shadows, and feeling more comfortable being the voice for someone else or staying silent about my beliefs, I had essentially pinched myself off from my big dream.
When I look back now, I kept quiet to stay safe and free of criticism. I did this even with my favorite Eleanor Roosevelt quote posted on my desk:
Do what you feel in your heart to be right — for you’ll be criticized anyway.
Today, over and over I observe the ways, big and small, women pinch themselves off from what they say they want.
So today, I invite you to look at yourself to see if any of these questions applies to you; and decide if you are closing yourself off from the abundance that is naturally flowing to you.
You may discover that you are limiting yourself without realizing it.
1) Do you put yourself and your needs last?
For instance, are your college daughter’s soccer games more important to attend than going back to college to get that degree you’ve promised yourself?
Do you put off your dreams until your husband, partner, kids get situated, graduate from school, find jobs, etc.?
Are you always there for your friends or family yet burn with resentment that you have not made progress on what you most want?
Our culture mistakenly has labeled us “selfish” when we put ourselves first. But what might happen if you didn’t put yourself last?
2) Do you feel unworthy or undeserving of your greatest dreams and desires?
I spent last week in the company of author and motivating force Esther Hicks of Abraham-Hicks, author of 10 books including Ask and It Is Given: Learning To Manifest Your Desires. Esther captured the notion of feeling “unworthy” better than anyone.
“Unworthy people are people with plenty of negative emotions and they are willing to put up with them,” she said.
We all know that you get what you believe and what you are focused on. So when your self-talk and beliefs are negative, it sets off a chain that conspires against creating your own success.
“Care more about what you feel at the earliest stage and don’t let yourself collapse toward the negative emotion,” she advises.
3) Do you march up to the line with your dream or goal and then pull back?
Fear will stop you in your tracks.
(And, just so you won’t think I’m perfect 😉 …
It took me years, step-by-step, day-in-and-day-out through every scary fear that showed up to follow my heart and to live my dream. And it was worth every gremlin☺ )
The good news is that you are a Woman on Fire! And there is no better community in the world to surround you with the inspiration, strategies and support to keep you going and help you push through your fear.
If you are a monthly member, you have the private Facebook page where support is unparalleled! And you also have the Women on Fire fan page with more than 65,000 women to cheer you on.
Fear, and fear of failure in particular, keeps many women from even trying.
4) Do you ignore the need to invest in yourself?
Does your money trickle away and leave you with nothing to show for it?
Whether you budget $30, $300, $3,000 or $30,000 a year for your personal and professional growth, investing in yourself is key to your success.
You must expand your competency and relevancy by bolstering your skills, abilities and awarenesses throughout your life! When was the last time you invested in yourself? What did you do — and what was the result?
5) Do you avoid making a plan to get where you want to go?
Studies show that people who write down their goals and plans have a significantly greater chance of being successful than those who don’t.
What are you waiting for? Even a simple journal entry with your annual plan and goals will keep you focused and on track.
Knowing what you want can keep you from missing opportunities that will support your dreams.
If you answered yes to any of the questions above, you are likely pinching yourself off, holding your back from sharing your great gifts with the world.
What might happen if you became aware the very next time that you were holding yourself back – and moved forward anyway?
Here’s to your success. I know once you’re aware of how you pinch yourself off, you can do anything!
Love,
