September Book to Live By

The Happiness of Pursuit by Chris Guillebeau

Compulsive goal-seeker Chris Guillebeau never imagined that his biggest revelation would be how many people like himself exist—each pursuing a challenging quest. These quests are as diverse as humanity itself, involving exploration, the pursuit of athletic or artistic excellence, or battling against injustice and poverty. Everywhere that Chris found ordinary people working toward extraordinary goals, making daily down payments on their dreams. These “questers” included a suburban mom pursuing a wildly ambitious culinary project, a DJ producing the world’s largest symphony, a young widower completing the tasks his wife would never accomplish—and scores of others writing themselves into the record books.

The more Chris spoke with these strivers, the more he began to appreciate the direct link between questing and long-term happiness, and he was compelled to complete a comprehensive study of the phenomenon. In The Happiness of Pursuit, he reveals the secret motivations of questers, their selection criteria, the role played by friends and family, their tricks for solving logistics, and the importance of documentation. Then, Chris examines the other side. What happens after the summit is climbed, the painting hung, the endurance record broken, the at-risk community saved?

A book that challenges each of us to take control—to make our lives be about something while at the same time remaining clear-eyed about the commitment—The Happiness of Pursuit will inspire readers of every age and aspiration. It’s a playbook for making your life count.

August Book to Live By

Inspire: The Art of Living with Nature by Willow Crossley

Willow Crossley combines her passions and shows vou how to use flower-shop purchases, beachcombing bounty, home-grown harvests, and foraged hedgerow finds to decorate your home. Divided into five chapters on Woodland, Flora, Fauna, Edibles, and Beach, here are more than 50 ideas ranging from a wreath made from hydrangeas, or spring narcissi planted in wooden wine boxes, to a tabletop display incorporating gilded apples and pears. Start collecting now to move your outdoors indoors before the weather changes.

 

July Book to Live By

Fulfilled: 52 Prescriptions for Healing, Health, and Happiness by Dr. Bernadette Anderson

Fulfilled: 52 Prescriptions for Healing, Health, and Happiness is your at-home or on-the-go personal office visit––without the co-pay! Each week Women on Fire member Dr. Bernadette asks questions, discusses symptoms and issues, then provides a “Prescription” worksheet to help you achieve healing, health, and happiness. Her life-changing tools and insights make “living the life you were born to live” your natural default.

June Book to Live By

“Matchmaking for Beginners” by Maddie Dawson

A delightful, sweet and smart summer beach read…Marnie MacGraw wants an ordinary life―a husband, kids, and a minivan in the suburbs. Then, she meets Blix, her fiancé’s great-aunt who’s dying, and everything changes―just as Blix told her it would.

When her marriage ends after two miserable weeks, Marnie is understandably shocked. She’s even more astonished to find that she’s inherited Blix’s house. She arrives in New York intending to sell the property, but discovers the hard way that love is difficult to recognize, and those who push love away are the ones who need it most.

May Book to Live By

“Women Who Spark After 50” by Aleta Norris

Do you find yourself lamenting your unrealized dreams? Are you experiencing burnout or boredom from a lifelong career?

Bestselling author and coach Aleta Norris knew she needed to reinvent something in her life. So, that’s exactly what she did. In this book, she asks the right questions to get you ready for an amazing second half. Through checklists and exercises, Aleta provides a roadmap to put your dream first after years of taking care of others.

March Book to Live By

“Wild, Beautiful and Free” by Sophfronia Scott

#1 in African American Historical Fiction on Amazon

This stunning work of fiction by award-winning author and Women on Fire member, Sophfronia Scott tells the story of Jeanette, a mixed race, escaped slave as she searches for purpose, love, and her place in the Civil War-era world. An instant BEST SELLER!

3 Ways To Ease Your Grief

On any given day, loss can sneak up on you and grief takes over.  And what do you do when that happens?

In this week’s video, I discuss how grief can feel like an internal car accident. You may look fine on the outside. But inside you may feel as though you’ve broken your arms and legs.

If that had actually happened, you’d be in a hospital resting, healing and receiving medical attention. The same must occur if you’re grieving. You must take exquisite care of yourself and find the care and support you need to heal.

Recently, in one week, I lost two very wise women in my circle of inspiring friends, Trudy Taylor, 92 and Olga Hirschhorn, 95.

Nancy Aronie, the brilliant writer and Chilmark Writing Workshop founder, reminds us, “when you find a woman in your life who is just a few years older than you and has experience, it’s life-changing. You want to grab every bit of wisdom from her.”

That’s how I strongly I felt about Trudy and Olga. They were life-changers. I soaked up every bit of their wisdom, knowledge, and humor. And now that they are gone, the void hurts. I tear up at even the mention of their names.

This is not the first time I’ve lost someone precious to me in my life. And I imagined you’ve had your share of losses, too.

With each loss, we face a new grieving process we must lean into.

From experience, here are three strategies that have helped me and my coaching clients:

I hope you’ve found even just one of these strategies helpful as you heal from any of your own losses.

“Joy shared is doubled; grief shared is halved” is sweet relief that you may find comfort here in sharing your own road to healing from grief.

Love,

Debbie Signature

P.S. If you are in the New York City area, BookTheWriter is hosting a Women on Fire evening and workshop, 7:30-9:30PM Tuesday, November 3 for 20 women at a private home. Cost is $40. Only a few seats remain. Check out details and registration here. I hope to see you there!

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Who is the CEO of your life?

When you think about someone being a CEO, what comes to mind?

And how does that apply to you?

In a quick survey, here’s what women in my life said a CEO is responsible for:

  • ˜ Is in charge of the direction
  • ˜ Holds the vision, values and goals
  • ˜ Knows how and what to delegate
  • ˜ Builds and sustains a great team
  • ˜ Holds the ultimate responsibility and is where the buck stops
  • ˜ Leads everyone through good times and bad
  • ˜ Is the one in charge who doesn’t give up when others do
  • ˜ Has tough skin to receive criticism and either ignores it or uses it for growth
  • ˜ Figures out complex issues
  • ˜ Knows when to take charge and when to let go

Unless you are currently the CEO of a company, you may not think of yourself as a Chief Executive Officer.

But I urge you to carefully read each statement above, and I think you may look at being CEO a little differently.

No matter your job or your position, at the very least, you are the CEO of your life and your family’s life!

In today’s video, I ask three questions that will help you to see how well you are doing at being the CEO of your life.

Use your answers to the questions in the video as a starting point to begin taking charge of your life in a way you might not have done before.

With this new knowledge and power, what is one change you’re going to make this week?

However you decide to fully express your CEO capabilities, we are here to cheer you on!

Now…about that private jet 😉

Love,

Debbie Signature

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Silence is not an option

Martin Luther King Jr. reminds us that “our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

Today, I want to talk about something that all Women on Fire need to be aware of. And an issue I invite you to consider working to eliminate: racism and hate crimes.

In a Facebook post from our beloved and respected Women on Fire sister Sophfronia Scott, she told us about an unthinkable crime that was perpetrated against her brother, a U.S. Army veteran.

What you will see in this video below is how gracefully Wayne Scott responded to a disgraceful, revolting act of violence.

[VIDEO] https://www.facebook.com/AJStream/videos/929769950399958/?pnref=story

At the time his home was defaced and his safety violated, this kind and gentle man was out of town, taking care of his elderly mother. He served and was injured in Iraq and still copes with chronic physical pain.

I marvel at how he responded.  I’m not sure I could muster the courage to be as forgiving as Wayne. Could you?

He certainly inspires as a role model for Dr. King’s great wisdom:

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

This video was shared thousands of times on social media, and I personally received many public and private messages.

Some people were surprised these racist activities continue; others expressed fear and hopelessness; and nearly everyone asked what can be done.

Honestly? I don’t know.

But what I do know is that I am not going to remain silent.

And I hope you won’t either.

I stand with Wayne Scott.

And I stand with every single person who has been discriminated against for the color of their skin, their country of origin, their sexual orientation, or their religion.

It is shameful this goes on in the world. Enough already.

Secondly, I hope if this video moved you that you will simply share it with your family and friends by email or social media.

In doing so, you are saying that you too stand with Wayne Scott.

In a recent interview with Paul Costello of Stanford University, former President Jimmy Carter lamented that we have “let down our guard” after a feeling of accomplishment and self‑congratulations from the civil rights movement’s success.

He urged our government and society to “readdress” and correct these discriminatory issues and behavior.  He concluded, “we have a long way to go to do away with the last vestiges of racial discrimination.”

And Dr. King left us wise counsel by telling us that the greatest tragedy is not “the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people.”

All the more reason to speak up today.

Thank you for being a force for good and for standing up to make this world better.

Love,

Debbie Signature

P.S. Please always feel free to share your comments below.

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Who celebrates you?

Even though it’s not officially fall, today marks the day most of us say goodbye to summer.

And it’s also a special day here because it’s my husband Rob’s birthday. And I’m dying to show you his surprise!

He’s an amazing photographer and I thought he deserved a cake that was “picture perfect.”

The cake was so much fun and gave us so much joy (not to mention that it was delicious with gluten-free vanilla layers filled with chocolate ganache and vanilla mousse!)

The inspiring cake made me think of the many converations I’ve had with women who’ve discounted their tremendous creative gifts.

  • I just like to bake. There’s no money in that.
  • It’s what I do. Nothing special.
  • No one would be interested in what I have to offer; anyone can do that.

I don’t personally know the woman on Martha’s Vineyard — Cakes By Liz — who designed and made Rob’s unique cake. But I hope she knows that by sharing her gift with the world it created a ripple effect of joy and delight for us!

So the next time you choose to discount or ignore that thing that you love and do so well — please remember your gift, strength or talent means the world to the people waiting for it.

OK, today’s SPARK!  is about finding your “people” — or your tribe. What is the result for you when you answer these three simple questions?

 

Keep the quality of the people in your life high and notice the difference.

Last week I laughed at a post I saw on Facebook that illustrated the point of surrounding yourself with the best people.

It said: “I’d rather have four quarters than 100 pennies.”  To which, one very funny Woman on Fire wrote: “I’d rather have 100 quarters.” Agreed!

I wish you always to be surrounded by many great people who uplift you.  Have a fantastic week and keep me posted on you!

Love,

Debbie Signature

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