Where are you between the struggle and the dream?

Welcome new readers of The Spark!

Whether we’ve just met or I’ve known you for a long time, the question I’m always curious to learn is: what are you “on fire” about and what are you struggling with?

Your answer almost always lies somewhere between the wanting and the having — the struggle and the achievement — of your dream.


Women on Fire members celebrating and supporting each other in New York City last week (Photos by Meredith Schoenberger)

Discovering your passion and being supported on your path to your dream is the very reason I created Women on Fire more than a decade ago.

(There is no other community in the world quite like this one, which I know makes it rather difficult to explain to others, right?! You almost have to experience being cheered on by Women on Fire in person to understand the full impact of support 😉

So, how do you go from uncertainty, or a hint of an idea, to living a life rich in living your dreams and making a difference in the world?

Inch by inch. Step by step. Bird by bird, as writer Anne Lamott told us so powerfully in her best-selling book.

Above, I’m pictured with Deirdre Martin of Plainfield, New Jersey. Dee is well on the way to making her dream come true. She’s in that sweet spot on the journey. She continues to work a regular job while growing her dream and building her company, Assisting Virtually.

She works on it. Every single day. Step by step.

And, here’s Heike Vogel of New York City, one of our co-authors in the latest Women on Fire book.  She made the courageous move from working for a large law firm to having it her way — starting her own law firm!  She, too, works at building her dream. Every day. Case by case.

Have Dee and Heike fully achieved their biggest dreams and desires? Probably not — yet. But they are well on their way.

When you are clear about what you want and make small achievements day-by-day, steady progress takes you from idea to reality.

Where are you on the scale from struggling mightily to achieving your ultimate goal?

Here are five strategies to help you get from where you are to where you want to go:

5 Strategies to go from wher eoyu are to where you want to be- Women on Fire

1) Clarity — First, you must be clear about what you want. If you don’t know or aren’t sure, ask people you love and trust to tell you what you are great at doing. What you do naturally is often the biggest hint at what your gifts are.

And, in discovering and embracing your gifts, you are most likely to find your passion.

A mentor of mine, author Barbara Sher reminds us: “you must go after your wish. As soon as you start to pursue your dream, your life wakes up and everything has meaning.”

Clarity with a side order of focus also helps. I hear from a lot of women who tell me they want “to reach all the women in the world” with their project or idea. That is wonderful. Except when you start out so broadly, you can topple over before you get started.

How about reaching out to one woman with what you have to offer — and start the ball rolling that way? 🙂

2) Inspiration — “If you stay true to who you are, the world will embrace you,” the late Maya Angelou said. That quote alone can pick up my spirits when I doubt myself.

Keeping yourself in close reach of inspiration — whatever form inspiration means for  you — is a very important aspect of reaching your goals. You need daily inspiration to keep yourself lit up and energized.

3) Strategies — It’s not enough to simply will your dreams into existence. You need practical, step-by-step “know-how” and “how-tos” to get where you are going.

Think of strategies as your GPS for getting where you want to go. Of course, I believe the powerful, tried-and-true strategies you learn at Women on Fire are the best! Still, you can find useful strategies from many different resources:

  • Wisdom from someone who has accomplished what you dream of
  • Books
  • Magazines
  • Popular culture
  • Online forums
  • Coaches with expertise in your area of interest

4) Support — Support is a essential and the framework for you to move from struggle toward what you deeply desire.

The pictures you see sprinkled here are of Women on Fire members coming together to cheer each other on, to be in each other’s company to share the excitement of the journey. With support, you will feel your tank filled and your spirit enlivened.

5) Perserverance — If you have a great idea and are passionate about it, don’t give up! Perseverance is the secret of all triumphs.


With inspiring Woman on Fire Teri Goetz at the NYC gathering

Any and all of these strategies can help you to move from wanting your dream to actually making it happen!  Let me know what kind of inspiration, strategies and support you’ve found work best for you.

Have a great week ahead! It’s my birthday this week so I’m taking off a few days to celebrate and enjoy a little rest and relaxation. 🙂

Love,

Debbie Signature

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Pick yourself!

I’m writing to you from my coziest chair on Martha’s Vineyard!

We just arrived here after my husband Rob and I, along with Wilber, our 17-pound cat, spent the winter in Florida.

Wilber has made the Great Migration South and then back North so often that he receives JetPaws frequent flyer points.  And, he is apparently so excited to be home that he is on my lap right now trying to take over the keyboard!

It feels great to be home and to now get ready for a number of you coming to the Vineyard in the next few months for vacation and your Vision Days!

Before I share highlights from my inspiring time with best-selling author, marketing guru and business/life strategist Seth Godin last week, I want mention a sadness within our Women on Fire community.

And, to express my deepest sorrow to at least two Women on Fire who were close friends with Mary Richardson Kennedy.

Mary was the wife of Robert Kennedy Jr. and the mom of four children, ages 11-17, who died tragically last week.  It is a horrible to hear about … let alone experience when you are friends or family of someone who takes his or her own life.

Friends and family survivors of suicide are often plagued with unrelenting  thoughts of  “Why?” and feelings of anger and guilt.

For any of you who are survivors of a loved one’s suicide and struggling, I highly recommend Alan Wolfelt’s Understanding Your Suicide Grief: 10 Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart.

For you who were directly affected by Mary’s terrible death, on behalf of all of us, may you be surrounded with love and understanding and comfort in grieving this loss.  We are with you.

So now I have a question…

Who or what do you turn to when you need a jolt of inspiration for new ideas and learning?

I have a number of go-to people, as you know.  They range from spiritual leaders — Marianne Williamson, Deepak Chopra, Thich Nhat Hahn and Edward Beck — to thought leaders — Gloria Steinem, Warren Bennis, Barbara Sher and Seth Godin.

Some of you may know of Seth, famous for his Purple Cow theory.  To be successful, he urges us all to find ways to be REMARKABLE … like a purple cow would be!

Last week Rob and I spent the day with Seth in New York at his conference creatively titled “Pick Yourself.”

Rob has worked with Seth in the past.  And, the night before the conference we attended a very fun, private dinner with him.


Seth is such a good sport. I’ve been told by my friend Mark Henson that stroking Seth’s head is worth seven years of good luck!

Here are seven gems of wisdom I learned or heard in a fresh way by being with Seth:

1) Technology is evolving and it is destroying the Industrial Age. The new economy is about CONNECTION. What do you have to offer that a certain group of people (your tribe) will absolutely love?  Keep in mind most people won’t care what you have to offer; some will even hate it; but your tribe will not be able to get enough of it!

2) Three skills necessary to possess in the Connection Economy:  fundamental skills; understanding strategy and the big picture; being willing to get knocked down and get back up again.

3) Are you doing work you are so passionate about that you are willing to fail at it … or be arrested for it?

4) To succeed, you must dance on the edge. Ask yourself what scares you? What are you afraid of?  And, go dance on the edge of that. Because once you do, then you put your fear behind you and you make leaps forward.  Know what it is that holds you back, because it is your growth opportunity.

5) Be extreme in your dedication to yourself and your work and your organization. Travel lightly.  Carry little in your backpack in order to run faster.

6) Forget mentors. Instead find heroes and emulate them. If you need support or to learn particular skills and strategies, hire a coach.

7) Do not wait for someone to select you to do the thing you want to do. You must pick yourself!

I’d love to hear how you stay current with your own learning and inspiration!