Are you tolerated or celebrated?

Go where you are celebrated, not just tolerated. Identify your real friends and relatives who love you and want to see you succeed. ~ Bob Beaudine, author of The Power of Who

One of the many reasons I started Women on Fire was to give you the soft landing spot you deserve for your passions and dreams to be discovered and celebrated.

In fact, chief among our 20 Women on Fire aspirations is “I cheer on the successes of other women.”

In my mind, there is little worse than someone pooh-poohing your desire to start your own business or raining on your plans to change the direction of your career.

While “Negative Norberts” often think they are looking out for you or protecting you from disappointment, your good ideas will flourish in the glow and encouragement of people who want to see you succeed.


I have the best job in the world celebrating the dreams and goals of Women on Fire. Here I am with inspiring Phoebe Lapine, co-author of the cookbook “In the Small Kitchen.” Phoebe routinely surrounds herself with people who support her dreams.

This week, here on Martha’s Vineyard, we celebrated Woman on Fire Phoebe Lapine, who transformed her passion for cooking for “20-somethings” into work as a private chef, speaker and cookbook author.

Out of college, Phoebe worked in corporate America in a less-than-inspiring job, marketing designer perfumes.  When Phoebe groused about the work, it was her cousin who gave her the lift she needed.

“What would you rather be doing?” she asked.  “Writing a cookbook,” Phoebe answered.  And, that was just the support she needed to go after her passion.  Without delay, Phoebe purchased the URL and she and her friend and cooking partner Cara Eisenpress launched their blog “Big Girls Small Kitchen.”

The popularity of the blog — which featured the easy-to-prepare and delicious food Phoebe and Cara had long been creating for their friends and relatives — caught the attention of agents and publishing companies. Their enthusiastic followers cheered them on and their book In the Small Kitchen was born!


Phoebe and I cheer on the dream of another Woman on Fire Melissa Brummerstedt Niezgoda, creator of Honey Bee’s Cakes, who sent her signature “Bomb Pops” in time for Phoebe’s book party.

In your own life right now, who celebrates you and cheers you on? Who wants to see you succeed?

Write down a list of as many people as you can think of from your entire life who are in your court.  These are people who’d be happy to help your dreams come true, if only you asked them.


Woman on Fire Jamie Eslinger, right, introduces Phoebe Lapine at a celebration of Phoebe’s new book. Jamie is one of Phoebe’s many passionate supporters!!

Consider sharing with your list of supporters a goal or dream you have.  As Bob Beaudine writes in The Power of Who: You Already Know Everyone You Need To Know it is those you know who love you — and not people we blindly hand business cards to — who are the ones to best help us.


Woman on Fire cheering on Phoebe — Jill Turley stocked up on copies of Phoebe’s cookbook for all her friends and relatives!

Keep me posted on how it works out for you by sharing in the comments section below.

In the meantime, you always have a place here at Women on Fire to be celebrated for your dreams!