7 Ways To Be A Woman on Fire

I hope you had a wonderful holiday weekend!  Rob and I took it easy on Martha’s Vineyard, played with Wilber, went for walks, hung out with friends, and cooked using Rob’s new sous-vide machine. Yum!

Here is a picture from the weekend as Spring unfolds on our island and another snap from brunch at our favorite restaurant, State Road.

Because so many of you are joining the SPARK! today for the very first time, I made a short video just to say hello. We are so happy you’re here!

Today’s SPARK! centers around the core tenets of being a Woman on Fire — and strategies for you to be your best so abundance flows more easily to you.

But first …

After coaching women one-on-one for many years, and hearing how alone they often felt going through life, I started Women on Fire more than 10 years ago to bring women together.

I had been fortunate to experience first-hand with my best friend Jan Allen and other encouraging women in my life how together we could do so much more than what we could on our own.

Realizing what a powerful impact sisterhood had on me, my dream was that all women should have the inspiration, strategies and support they need for their own lives.

At the core of Women on Fire is a philosophy that we live by. And, it serves us well on the journey to our dreams and goals and in our support of others to have theirs.

Because so many of you are new — and it’s always good to have a refresher for those of us who’ve been here for a while — today we’re going to talk about the 7 Ways To Be A Woman on Fire.

*This week’s Pinspiration*

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Living according to these success principles will add magic to your life. Even if you focus on only one of these strategies right now, you just may see surprising results in your life!

1) Do you cheer on the successes of other women?

When you notice another woman doing well, meeting her goals, achieving something exciting, do you praise her? Do you go out of your way to let her know she did something special?

Your authentic praise, appreciation and support can be jet fuel to someone struggling toward their dreams. (And even when it looks easy, any goal worthwhile is never easy. We all struggle!)

Sometimes we only see our progress when we hear it genuinely articulated from others. One of our Women on Fire experts Nancy Aronie reminded us of the importance of praise: “I’m a gusher. And I think it’s really important to be a gusher. We have a lot of withholding in this culture…just don’t hold back.

“We’re all kind of straving. I don’t care how succesful and how big and great your life is, it really feels nice when someone says something beautiful to you.”

And, please, never, ever respond to someone’s success, joy or achievement by saying this to them.

2) Do you invest in yourself and your potential?

Years ago a client told me that she was struggling that her company paid $1,500 a month for her coaching. She wasn’t even paying for it herself, and yet she felt unworthy for the expense to increase her potential.

She admitted that she personally spent even more each month than her coaching fee on clothes, make-up and skin treatments.

Nothing wrong with that at all, but it is important to balance investing in yourself to include training, education, experience, coaching, therapy, self-care, etc. so that you continue to grow and develop as a human being.

How are you doing with investing in yourself? By expanding your potential, you set an example and inspire your family, colleagues and friends.

3) Do you ask for help?

The single biggest struggle that I hear from both men and women is asking for help. Often, we don’t even consider “asking for help” as an option.

These are just a few reasons to ask for help: it might solve your problem quicker; it can create closer relationships when people help you; it takes a burden off your shoulders.

Reasons we don’t ask for help: it feels vulnerable; we’re not sure how or who to ask; or we don’t even consider asking.

Just for fun this week, what is your thorniest issue and who might you ask for help from?  See what happens and let us know!

4) Are you aware of your powerful impact on others?

We forget just how strong and mighty we are. A look, a word, a glance from us can either let someone know they are loved, respected and appreciated — or not.

Being very mindful of hurtful words, negative body language or disapproving, withering glances allows you to be at choice and thoughtful in expressing your powerful impact positively.

How to accept your power? Think about who it is that you may be relating negatively you and practice being clear and direct with compassion. See what happens.

5) Do you honor, recognize and appreciate those who support you?

In my office, I have an icon of four turtles, each one smaller than the previous one, stacked on top of each other. It sits there to remind me that I am always standing on someone else’s back!

Do you know on whose backs you stand? Have you thanked them?  Maybe it was a neighbor growing up who helped you stay safe; a teacher who took extra time to inspire you; or an aunt who was a role model.

In your work right now, who has made a difference for you, helped you to believe in yourself? Today’s a good time to appreciate them!

6) Do you play big?

Or do you play small? Do you shy away from taking the lead? Do you minimize your accomplishments by saying things such as “anyone can do that” or “it’s no big deal”?

As Marianne Williamson wrote so eloquently, “Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.”

The next time you are about to do something, ask yourself what would happen if you “supersized” it? What would happen if you played BIG?

7) Do you compare yourself to others?

Comparing yourself to others is one of the most damaging ways to hurt and hold yourself back.

If you compare your life to others, you will never win. And you’ll be depressed. There will always be someone smarter, wealthier, thinner, more accomplished and with more adorable children than yours!

The only way to win on this one is to compare yourself to how you are doing with your own dreams and goals. Let that be the measure.

Unhappy people compare themselves to others; happy people compare themselves to their own standards.

From here on out, as a Woman on Fire, allow yourself be that happy person! And let me know how these strategies work out for you.


Thank you for being a part of this community.  If you’re new or you’ve been meaning to join us, please check out our monthly membership program and the oodles of goodies that will come your way, in addition to the weekly SPARK!

Have a great week and I’ll see you on Facebook and back here next week.


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