November’s Inner Circle Sneak Peek w/ Belleruth Naparstek

We have a sneak peek of what’s coming in your Women on Fire members’ package for November.

As many of you know, Debbie has a set of wise, accomplished women in her life that inspire, uplift and support her. Their wisdom is priceless, and we thought it was high time we shared some of the wealth of knowledge and love. 🙂

This month, we are featuring one of Debbie’s wise women.

A highly respected psychotherapist.

A pioneer in the use of guided imagery.

An entrepreneur.

An author.

A mother. A grandmother.

Belleruth Naparstek has dedicated her life to helping people heal and find relief from pain and trauma through guided imagery, and she’s sharing her best strategies, biggest challenges and brightest ideas with you.

Today, we’re giving you only a tiny nugget of all the inspiration Belleruth shared. But in the full interview you’ll discover:

  • How the power of guided imagery can transform your life
  • When and how to use guided imagery
  • The best way to express your greatest gifts over the course of time
  • How Belleruth balanced running a business and taking care of two kids
  • Her strategies for healing after her husband died

If you’re not yet part of our membership inner circle, please be our guest and listen today for free to a clip of Debbie’s interview with Belleruth.

Press PLAY for a quick (2:30) audio clip of this inspiring and intimate interview.

If you are already a member of our Women on Fire inner circle, enjoy this preview of what’s coming to you early in November!

If you aren’t yet a member and want to receive this Women on Fire exclusive, make sure to join us today. You have until Sunday, November 1. Less than 48 hours left!

BUT WAIT… there’s more! 🙂

Belleruth didn’t want you to walk away today without getting a small taste of what guided imagery is, so she is giving you a FREE sample of one of her most popular audios. Click here to listen to your free streaming guided meditation on Self-Confidence,plus a little something extra!

Trust us, you don’t want to miss out on Belleruth’s brilliance.

P.S. A little birdie told us that there may or may not be a very special gift from Belleruth included in November’s membership package. You’ll just have to join to find out! 🙂

Spark Copy opt in box for blog

 

3 Ways To Ease Your Grief

On any given day, loss can sneak up on you and grief takes over.  And what do you do when that happens?

In this week’s video, I discuss how grief can feel like an internal car accident. You may look fine on the outside. But inside you may feel as though you’ve broken your arms and legs.

If that had actually happened, you’d be in a hospital resting, healing and receiving medical attention. The same must occur if you’re grieving. You must take exquisite care of yourself and find the care and support you need to heal.

Recently, in one week, I lost two very wise women in my circle of inspiring friends, Trudy Taylor, 92 and Olga Hirschhorn, 95.

Nancy Aronie, the brilliant writer and Chilmark Writing Workshop founder, reminds us, “when you find a woman in your life who is just a few years older than you and has experience, it’s life-changing. You want to grab every bit of wisdom from her.”

That’s how I strongly I felt about Trudy and Olga. They were life-changers. I soaked up every bit of their wisdom, knowledge, and humor. And now that they are gone, the void hurts. I tear up at even the mention of their names.

This is not the first time I’ve lost someone precious to me in my life. And I imagined you’ve had your share of losses, too.

With each loss, we face a new grieving process we must lean into.

From experience, here are three strategies that have helped me and my coaching clients:

I hope you’ve found even just one of these strategies helpful as you heal from any of your own losses.

“Joy shared is doubled; grief shared is halved” is sweet relief that you may find comfort here in sharing your own road to healing from grief.

Love,

Debbie Signature

P.S. If you are in the New York City area, BookTheWriter is hosting a Women on Fire evening and workshop, 7:30-9:30PM Tuesday, November 3 for 20 women at a private home. Cost is $40. Only a few seats remain. Check out details and registration here. I hope to see you there!

Spark Copy opt in box for blog

Who is the CEO of your life?

When you think about someone being a CEO, what comes to mind?

And how does that apply to you?

In a quick survey, here’s what women in my life said a CEO is responsible for:

  • ˜ Is in charge of the direction
  • ˜ Holds the vision, values and goals
  • ˜ Knows how and what to delegate
  • ˜ Builds and sustains a great team
  • ˜ Holds the ultimate responsibility and is where the buck stops
  • ˜ Leads everyone through good times and bad
  • ˜ Is the one in charge who doesn’t give up when others do
  • ˜ Has tough skin to receive criticism and either ignores it or uses it for growth
  • ˜ Figures out complex issues
  • ˜ Knows when to take charge and when to let go

Unless you are currently the CEO of a company, you may not think of yourself as a Chief Executive Officer.

But I urge you to carefully read each statement above, and I think you may look at being CEO a little differently.

No matter your job or your position, at the very least, you are the CEO of your life and your family’s life!

In today’s video, I ask three questions that will help you to see how well you are doing at being the CEO of your life.

Use your answers to the questions in the video as a starting point to begin taking charge of your life in a way you might not have done before.

With this new knowledge and power, what is one change you’re going to make this week?

However you decide to fully express your CEO capabilities, we are here to cheer you on!

Now…about that private jet 😉

Love,

Debbie Signature

Spark Copy opt in box for blog

Up close and personal with the woman behind Oprah

We have a sneak preview of what’s coming in the Women on Fire members’ care package for October!

If you attended the Women on Fire Retreat in Chicago a few months ago, and if you’re like most of the women who were there, you fell in love with keynote speaker Sheri Salata, the president of the Oprah Winfrey Network.

So many of you were so inspired by what she said that you asked Debbie if her talk could be made available for you to hear again.

What a genius idea. 🙂

So for all of those members who wanted to listen to this again — as well those of you who weren’t able to make it to the retreat or who are brand new to Women on Fire — today you are in for a treat.

We’re giving you a wonderful taste of Sheri’s interview that brought down the house at our 2015 retreat.

In the full interview, you’ll discover:

  • Sheri’s recipe for life
  • The incredible story of how she got hired to work for Oprah and rose through the ranks to be OWN’s top executive
  • What Oprah’s really like to work for
  • Why you should never give up before the miracle
  • And SO much more, including a candid Q+A with audience members

If you’re not yet part of our membership inner circle, please be our guest and listen in today for free to one of the many inspiring moments from Debbie’s interview with Sheri.

Press PLAY for a quick (2:30) audio clip.

If you are already a member of our Women on Fire inner circle, enjoy this preview of what’s already coming to you in early October!

If you aren’t yet a member and want to receive this Women on Fire exclusive, make sure to join us today.

*** You have until midnight EST Friday, October 2 to sign up and receive Debbie’s full interview with Sheri. ***

Sheri touched our hearts and inspired our minds at the 2015 retreat with her insight, love and authenticity. So if you’ve been thinking about becoming a Women on Fire member, this would absolutely, positively be the perfect month to do it!

 

P.S. Are you struggling with something big? Something small? Something you just can’t get your head around?

Want Debbie’s help?

TUNE IN to Debbie’s live monthly Members’ Master Class and Chat on October 13 at 8 p.m. EST where she’ll be answering YOUR questions LIVE!

Join us for a very special live chat this October where you can Ask Debbie Anything and receive personalized coaching on whatever you’re struggling with.

Spark Copy opt in box for blog

What I wish someone would have told me…

Last week I returned to my alma mater The Ohio State University to lead the 3rd annual Women on Fire Day there with 100 young women.

The idea of such a day – where experienced women share wisdom and strategies with younger women — came from the students themselves.

It truly is one of the most rewarding and inspirational days of my year.

Here I am with this year’s panelists of wise women sharing their knowledge: Jordan Davis, Amy Marzluff, Cindy Monroe and Dr. Gladys Gibbs

My keynote talk this time was “What I Wish Someone Would Have Told Me In College.”

The incredible team who made our Women on Fire day possible: Meredith Schoenberger, Yvonne Dulaney, Ashley Sinram, Tracy Stuck, Molly Pierano, Chelsea Burrell and Neha Patel (Photo by Eve Esch)

I can imagine that you have some powerful thoughts on this subject as well. Here are a few that I shared with OSU students. Did you wish for any of these yourself?

I wish someone would have told me early on that:

You are the CEO of your life

No matter what you do for a living or your position – whether you are married, widowed, divorced or single and whether you work, stay at home with kids or both — you are in charge of your life.

You are responsible for creating your own destiny.

I was in my mid-30s before I learned and accepted that I am the CEO of my life. When I did, a peace and calm came over me.

I realized I wasn’t a victim of circumstances.  If I wasn’t happy or didn’t like something, I had the power to change it!

Your heart will get broken but you will survive

My early boyfriend heartbreaks and girlfriend betrayals were utterly devastating but nothing like the grief from loss of loved ones and divorce that I later experienced over the years.

Sometimes it felt I would die right along with the loss that had occurred. Eventually, I learned that I could survive from loss — and even thrive.

And often loss or heartbreak meant not the ending of something but the beginning of something new – and even even sometimes something better.

Who you are in this world – and what you stand for — is way more important than the way you look

Countless times I held myself back because I thought I was too fat or didn’t look right or didn’t have the right clothes.

What a waste of energy! It is truly my only regret in life.

I was in my late 30s before I owned who I was in the world and embraced my qualities and why I was here:  to help people express their gifts, strengths and talents.

The more I focused on who I was and how I could help others, the less it mattered how I looked or dressed or whether someone liked me or not.

One of my favorite quotes on this subject came from actress Rashida Jones who said:

You can’t really invest in your looks as your only thing because it’s a depreciating asset. It’s like putting money into a stock that is going down. Invest in your brain, invest in your talent; those things can appreciate and they get better as you get older.”

Find and surround yourself with the greatest people you can to work with and learn from

Pay attention to the quality of people you associate yourself with.

Small-minded people talk about other people; big vision people talk about making the world a better place. Hang with big vision people.

Don’t ever think that someone is too big for you to meet or get to know or even work for.  Somebody has to take those jobs in the White House, including being the President!

Don’t ever compare yourself to anyone else

Unhappy people compare themselves to others. Happy people compare themselves to the goals they’ve set for themselves.

Comparing yourself is always a losing battle. Always someone wealthier, smarter, prettier, more accomplished and with better behaved children!

Stay in your own lane and stay focused on your own goals and dreams.

Do not ever let anyone hijack your dreams

When I was a little girl, I poured over National Geographic magazines and dreamed of going to Antarctica.

As an adult, I decided to make my dream come true.  I saved and studied and planned for my trip to Antarctica.

And, here’s the response I received from most people:  “Why go there? Wouldn’t you rather go to Australia? Why would you pay to be cold?”

This is my dream! I told them.  Go focus on your dreams!

Your job is to stay true to your dreams.

Your dreams are nobody’s business but yours. Never let anyone take them away!

So as you look back to the time you were 18-22, and venturing out into the world to make a difference, what do you wish someone would have told you?

Share your comments below. I’d love to hear!

Love,

Spark Copy opt in box for blog

 

Silence is not an option

Martin Luther King Jr. reminds us that “our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

Today, I want to talk about something that all Women on Fire need to be aware of. And an issue I invite you to consider working to eliminate: racism and hate crimes.

In a Facebook post from our beloved and respected Women on Fire sister Sophfronia Scott, she told us about an unthinkable crime that was perpetrated against her brother, a U.S. Army veteran.

What you will see in this video below is how gracefully Wayne Scott responded to a disgraceful, revolting act of violence.

[VIDEO] https://www.facebook.com/AJStream/videos/929769950399958/?pnref=story

At the time his home was defaced and his safety violated, this kind and gentle man was out of town, taking care of his elderly mother. He served and was injured in Iraq and still copes with chronic physical pain.

I marvel at how he responded.  I’m not sure I could muster the courage to be as forgiving as Wayne. Could you?

He certainly inspires as a role model for Dr. King’s great wisdom:

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

This video was shared thousands of times on social media, and I personally received many public and private messages.

Some people were surprised these racist activities continue; others expressed fear and hopelessness; and nearly everyone asked what can be done.

Honestly? I don’t know.

But what I do know is that I am not going to remain silent.

And I hope you won’t either.

I stand with Wayne Scott.

And I stand with every single person who has been discriminated against for the color of their skin, their country of origin, their sexual orientation, or their religion.

It is shameful this goes on in the world. Enough already.

Secondly, I hope if this video moved you that you will simply share it with your family and friends by email or social media.

In doing so, you are saying that you too stand with Wayne Scott.

In a recent interview with Paul Costello of Stanford University, former President Jimmy Carter lamented that we have “let down our guard” after a feeling of accomplishment and self‑congratulations from the civil rights movement’s success.

He urged our government and society to “readdress” and correct these discriminatory issues and behavior.  He concluded, “we have a long way to go to do away with the last vestiges of racial discrimination.”

And Dr. King left us wise counsel by telling us that the greatest tragedy is not “the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people.”

All the more reason to speak up today.

Thank you for being a force for good and for standing up to make this world better.

Love,

Debbie Signature

P.S. Please always feel free to share your comments below.

Spark Copy opt in box for blog

 

Who celebrates you?

Even though it’s not officially fall, today marks the day most of us say goodbye to summer.

And it’s also a special day here because it’s my husband Rob’s birthday. And I’m dying to show you his surprise!

He’s an amazing photographer and I thought he deserved a cake that was “picture perfect.”

The cake was so much fun and gave us so much joy (not to mention that it was delicious with gluten-free vanilla layers filled with chocolate ganache and vanilla mousse!)

The inspiring cake made me think of the many converations I’ve had with women who’ve discounted their tremendous creative gifts.

  • I just like to bake. There’s no money in that.
  • It’s what I do. Nothing special.
  • No one would be interested in what I have to offer; anyone can do that.

I don’t personally know the woman on Martha’s Vineyard — Cakes By Liz — who designed and made Rob’s unique cake. But I hope she knows that by sharing her gift with the world it created a ripple effect of joy and delight for us!

So the next time you choose to discount or ignore that thing that you love and do so well — please remember your gift, strength or talent means the world to the people waiting for it.

OK, today’s SPARK!  is about finding your “people” — or your tribe. What is the result for you when you answer these three simple questions?

 

Keep the quality of the people in your life high and notice the difference.

Last week I laughed at a post I saw on Facebook that illustrated the point of surrounding yourself with the best people.

It said: “I’d rather have four quarters than 100 pennies.”  To which, one very funny Woman on Fire wrote: “I’d rather have 100 quarters.” Agreed!

I wish you always to be surrounded by many great people who uplift you.  Have a fantastic week and keep me posted on you!

Love,

Debbie Signature

Spark Copy opt in box for blog

Women on Fire’s September Book To Live By Is…

This month’s Books To Live By selection was written by one of my all-time favorite authors — and maybe one of yours, too?

She is beloved in our Women on Fire circle, and I have a feeling you are going to love her latest novel.

Our September selection is….

 

I’m particularly delighted to introduce you to this latest adult novel by Judy Blume, who is often best known for her books for children and young adults.

(It’s hard to find a woman — or her daughter — who didn’t read Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret.)

She’s had a huge impact on my life, as I know she has had for many of you.

If you’ve been following along with us, you already know how near and dear Judy Blume is to our Women on Fire community. I interviewed her two summers ago for our monthly membership program.

These days I spend so much time reading non-fiction that it is a treat when I can luxuriate in a work of fiction. I read Judy’s In the Unlikely Event on vacation last week — and I was completely engaged by it.

You are instantly transported back to the early 1950s, in the familiar and nostalgic way that she describes so well.

There we meet 15-year-old Miri and an elaborate cast of characters that learn to live, love and cope during unimaginable loss after three plane crashes in three months upend their small town.

Remarkably, these were actual events that happened in Judy’s hometown of Elizabeth, New Jersey. Although the book is not an autobiography, you can’t help but wonder if Miri’s character provides a window into what Judy experienced at the time.

Full of surprises and heartwarming nods to the past, In the Unlikely Event will steal your heart, as Judy Blume novels tend to do.

I hope you will read this book, and I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

Love,

Debbie Signature

P.S. Want a chance to win your own copy of In the Unlikely Event by Judy Blume?

Join me for our monthly member Live Chat Master Class on September 15 at 8 p.m. EST for your chance to win! I’ll be talking about how to recharge your goals to finish 2015 strong.

P.P.S. You know that interview with Judy Blume that I mentioned above? It’s one of my absolute favorite monthly member interviews to date, and it is my gift to share it with you. Free.

Click here to download and enjoy!

How to turn your bad day around FAST!

The other day I woke up cranky.

(I know … hard for you to believe because I truly am patient and easy going …but then there are those days 😉

Even after I reviewed the shadowy fragments of my dreams for clues, I still had no understanding why I’d gotten up on the “wrong side of the bed.”  And, my day went downhill from there.

The cat bit me. I ran late to my first appointment. The dryer died.

And, life continued to slide off course until I pulled myself together (I am a coach with tips and strategies after all!) and took a few minutes to do these quick strategies in this brief (2:53) video:

Can you believe how simple?

In short order, my day turned around. It seemed almost magical that using these easy strategies could make such a difference, but it did.

If you ever find yourself a cranky, hot mess, I hope you’ll try them out. And let me know how it works out for you. I’m betting you’ll feel less stressed and miserable — and much more like yourself again.

Have a great week!

And stayed tuned: we have a BIG surprise coming soon for you! 🙂

Love,

Debbie Signature

Spark Copy opt in box for blog

September’s Inner Circle Sneak Peek with Beth Nielsen Chapman

We have another sneak peek of what’s coming in your Women on Fire members’ care package for September.

Have you ever listened to a song that was so powerful you felt like the lyrics were written just for you?

We often turn to music in times of great joy, sorrow and uncertainty.

That’s because music has the power to heal, far beyond words.

There is no one who better understands the healing magic of music more than our featured guest.

A singer-songwriter.

A cancer survivor.

A Grammy-nominated artist.

A teacher.

A mother who was widowed at a young age.

A woman who has built a wildly successful career by channeling the healing power of creativity.

And today, Beth Nielsen Chapman is here to help you discover how creativity can give purpose to your pain and transform your setbacks into strengths.

I’m telling you, she’s beyond brilliant! 🙂

If you’re not yet part of our membership inner circle, please be our guest and listen in today for free to a clip of Debbie’s interview with Beth.

Press PLAY for a quick (2:30) audio clip of this deeply inspiring interview.

In the full recording you’ll discover:

  • The many ways creativity can help you heal
  • How to tap into a collective wisdom
  • Techniques to find inspiration when your creative well has run dry
  • What the “divining rod of inspiration” is and how you can find yours

All that, PLUS a little birdie told me that Beth might have recorded a very special serenade…

But who knows? You’ll have to listen to find out! 🙂

If you are already a member of our Women on Fire inner circle, enjoy this preview of what’s already coming to you early in September!

If you aren’t yet a member and want to receive this Women on Fire exclusive, make sure to join us today.

You have until Sunday, August 30. Less than 48 hours left!

Don’t miss out on one of the most authentic and uplifting interviews we have recorded ALL year!

xo

The Women on Fire team

P.S. Have your goals slowly slipped away over the summer? Want to get back on track this fall?

TUNE IN to Debbie’s live monthly Members’ Master Class and Chat on September 15 at 8:00 p.m. EST. She’ll be sharing her favorite tips and tools for ending your year strong!

Spark Copy opt in box for blog