One strategy for your big dreams!

Nearly two decades ago, my brilliant friend and (of course!) a Woman on Fire Patricia Wynn Brown suggested a book she was sure I would love.

Reading it changed my life.  And I think it could change yours, too.

The book was my first taste of Anne Lamott’s funny and perceptive writing, and the beginning of my love affair with her words and wisdom. And, here’s the passage in her book that blew my mind and rewired my thinking:

“Thirty years ago my older brother, who was 10 years old at the time, was trying to get a report on birds written that he’d had three months to write. It was due the next day.

“We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead.

“Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my  brother’s shoulder, and said, ‘Bird by bird, buddy.  Just take it bird by bird.'”

And, that’s how Bird By Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life came to crack open my fear and resistence to take on the “big stuff.”

Before that, I would see BIG dreams and desires looming in front of me without the direction of how to fly from Point A to Point Z.  How could I get to what I really, truly wanted in my life?

And there it was, tucked into Anne Lamott’s book, the secret.   “Bird by bird” — one small, doable step after another.

All these years later, rarely a week goes by that I don’t remind myself of a daunting task toward my big dreams, by saying out loud or silently mouthing “bird by bird.”  I always know I can do it, if I take it “bird by bird.” 🙂

I’d love to hear if that resonates for you? Or, a simple strategy for how you approach an enormous dream or huge project?

I was reminded again last week of how important it is to have strategies like this for our big dreams when the co-authors of the next Women on Fire book were announced.  (If you missed it, you can read who was selected here. And if you know any of them, please feel to reach out and cheer her on!)

Each one of our co-authors is about to tackle something big:  she will reveal a personal life story and struggle and what she did to reach success, overcome an issue or accommodate her challenge into her life.

It’s one thing to tell your life story and personal struggles to a friend, it’s another to share it publicly in a book.  Our co-authors are courageous women! Revealing can be so frightening even though the rewards are tremendous.

Every single one of our co-authors is up for the challenge.  She knows in sharing she will lighten the load for another women or give comfort and direction to someone facing a similar struggle.

With Sophfronia Scott, our publisher, Kacy Cook, our editor and me, there are 24 of us in this big dream.

Together, we will fly — and we’ll take it “bird by bird.”


Photos by Rob Berkley in Naples, FL

Have a spectacular week.  And, I’ll see you mid-week for a special new feature we are launching to share more of who the women in this community are!

What would happen if you married your passions?

I’ve just returned from a fabulous time in New York City and Columbus, Ohio.

I’ve been on the road for the past two weeks to attend Women on Fire tea parties. And, while in Columbus, I talked about 5 Powerful Ways to Kick Off  2011 on NPR’s All Sides With Ann Fisher (you can listen to the interview here.)   I also co-led with my best friend Jan Allen a transition session for members of outgoing Ohio Governor Ted Strictland’s senior staff.

All that meeting and talking about how to express your life’s potential reminded me of how powerful and inspiring it is when we combine — or marry — our passions, interests and skills.

Today I’m going to introduce you to a woman I’ve personally wanted to meet for a long time who has done just that.  She combined her various interests in a surprising way and founded one of the country’s leading ice cream companies!

But first…


My new “do” courtesy of celebrity hair stylist Jacob Neal

I’ve been so busy traveling that I hadn’t scheduled time for a haircut. So, I was running around like a shaggy dog when I remembered my former stylist in New York City Jacob Neal now operates a gorgeous salon in Columbus.

It was fabulous to reconnect with him and in no time at all he whipped up my great new short haircut.  I felt ready to take on the world!

Then, the coolest thing happened.  I went to see Women on Fire book co-author Patricia Wynn Brown perform at TedxWomen in Columbus.  (Tedx, by the way, was brought to Columbus by two terrific, inspiring women you should know, if you don’t — Ruth Milligan and Nancy Kramer.)

While attending, I met up with a woman I’ve been dying to meet who has inspired me for years: Jeni Britton Bauer, founder of Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams!


How fun to finally meet rock star ice cream entrepreneur Jeni Britton Bauer at TedxWomen in Columbus!

As much as I would go to the end of the earth to eat her ice creams — with unusual combinations of flavors you might not associate with ice cream such as Salty Caramel, Wildberry Lavender, Thai Chili, Cocoa Zin, Riesling Pear, Goat Cheese with Roasted Cherries — it is her story that intrigues me.

She grew up enthralled with the tastes and smells of the herbs and flowers in her grandmother’s extensive gardens.  At college she majored in art and worked in a French patisserie.  And, at age 22 she married her passions for flavors, textures, smells and the creativity of art and food and applied it to ice cream!

“At our company, all roads lead to ice cream,” she told women in Columbus.  “The memory associated with flavor is very strong. Flavor takes you to a feeling and a memory.”  Her ice cream, created from local ingredients, and more flavorful than sweet became Jeni’s vehicle to deliver pleasure!


Woman on Fire Jan Orosz first told me about Jeni’s Elderberry and Ohio Sweet Cream ice cream. Jeni brought it and two other ice creams as a treat for TedxColumbus attendees. YUM!

Jeni went on to describe her life as an entrepreneur, saying that she views herself first as a mother with two small children and then as a customer advocate.  Her office includes not only a desk and chair but a kitchen with a stove and refrigerator where she and a colleague test until perfection each and every flavor of ice cream.

Success is starting to come fast for Jeni with a new book about to hit the market and new cities and markets clamoring for her special ice creams.

Still “every single day we wake up fighting for our lives,”  she said, adding that the joy, however, supercedes the terrifying roller coaster that is often the life of a business owner.

When you think about your own life, what passions have you combined to create something new, exciting or rewarding?

And, if you’re working to figure out your next steps in your life, like Jeni, which of your talents, passions and interests could you combine to create your next great thing?

I’d love to hear from you, so please feel free to share in the comments section below.

Until next week, take extra good care of yourself.

And, if you’re anywhere near Jeni’s Ice Cream, please treat yourself to a scoop of Banana Caramel Cashew or Raspberry Mascarpone or Cayenne Chocolate — and know you’re also celebrating the success of a woman’s courage to pursue her passions!

Much love,

Debbie

Double Debbies

Martha’s Vineyard, MA — If your name is Nancy Brown, Jim Smith or Jennifer Jones, you are quite likely used to sharing your name with others.

Not so much so if you are Blue Cullen, Kim DeYoung or Debbie Phillips!

In fact, I’d never heard of a single other Debbie Phillips until I went to college.

After leaving Montpelier, Ohio, population 4,300, to attend The Ohio State University with its 55,000 students, I was in awe to learn at least five others on campus were named Debbie Phillips.  (To avoid confusion with all of them, I became more identified by my Social Security number. My name became:  “Ends in -0003.”

I never met any of the other Debbie P’s at school even though I was hoping to.  (There was no Google or Facebook back then to track them down…who am I kidding? The Internet was not even invented yet. Seriously!)

Over the years, people would tell me they knew others with my exact name but I never did.

Then, a few years ago, I learned that Debbie Phillips was running for elected office to the Ohio Legislature.  When she won, I received congratulations (nice!) …and bewilderment from an old friend who wondered if I had moved back to Ohio and gone into politics.

Then, one day it happened:

I got to meet my first Debbie Phillips!!!!

Debbie Phillips meets Debbie Phillips

The state legislator Debbie Phillips came to the Metropolitan Club in Columbus, Ohio where Ginny Barney, Patricia Wynn Brown and I were speaking on the Women on Fire book tour.  I felt so honored to meet her. My twin namesake Debbie and I had only a few minutes together that day… but I wanted hours.

I felt a remarkable kinship to this other Debbie Phillips…and I had a million questions.  In school, was she, too, called Little Debbie cakes?  Phebbie Dillips? Debra, when her mother was mad?  We agreed to meet up again someday for lunch.  (And, it won’t matter which of us makes the reservation!)

Over the years, I’ve spoken to other friends about this.  (My former colleague John Meekins once invited every Meekins in the city phone book to a party at his house so he could get to know these same-name people he wasn’t related to…and yet he was!)

I’d love to hear about your own experiences meeting …or not meeting… your namesake.