Happy first day of autumn 2014 to you!

 

To usher in this first day of the new season, my husband Rob Berkley took this fall-popping-out-of-summer photo in our neighborhood on Martha’s Vineyard.  Doesn’t it just inspire you to think of days ahead with fire pits, friends and s’mores?!

Feel free to share your photos of the season’s changes in your neighborhood on our Women on Fire Facebook page.

Our topic today is about getting on the path to living your best, most authentic and passionate life — when you’re not quite feeling it yet.

I receive dozens of emails daily from Spark! readers across the country and beyond. This is a sampling from a number of you this past week:

• How do I find me?
• How do I tap into the potential and strengths that I know I have, but they’ve been buried so long I can’t access them?
• Where is my inspiration hiding?
• Why can’t I just do what’s in my heart and get out of my own way?
• I know my spark is in there! I look forward to this community helping me to find it.

We all understand the longing, the wondering, the frustration of wanting to line up with our gifts and talents — and our sparks — and not being able to get there. I’ve been there myself.

Years ago, before I became a life and executive coach and founded Women on Fire, there were days-on-end when I felt drained, worn out, uninspired and struggling just to make it through each day.  I did not know how to find me.  I only knew I wanted to be out of pain trying to figure it out.

Fortunately, you’ve landed in the right community, and there are answers and strategies (all I’ve used myself!) that can get you going today — and to help you find “you”!

So, if you are struggling to tap into your energy and find “you,” try on a few of these:

1) Rule out the physical – If your energy is low or if you can’t stay focused or committed to your dreams, you might consider talking with your doctor first to rule out a medical or mental health issue.

I’ve seen many women spring to life after being treated for health problems they didn’t know existed as well as women who discovered they needed to address depression or anxiety.

Once you’re given a clean bill of health, here are some strategies to consider next.

2) Get very quiet and become very mindful – Mindfulness studies show there is great benefit physically, mentally and emotionally to quieting your mind.  Just a few minutes a day, sitting in peace and silence, focusing on your breath and intention and letting go of judgment can help you to find your center — and yourself.

Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hahn and Mindfulness For Beginners: Reclaiming The Present Moment — And Your Life by Jon Kabat-Zinn are practical and powerful books to help guide you into a mindfulness practice.

“Mindfulness isn’t difficult, we just need to remember to do it,” says another of my favorite mindfulness teachers, Sharon Salzberg.

3) Ask for help – Ask people you know, love and trust to affirm what’s special and unique about you. Ask them what contributions you make; what your special gifts are. And when they tell you, believe them!

Knowing we are not alone in our quest to find ourselves can rekindle our sparks and put us in touch with who we truly are.

4) Write in your journal every day and read inspiration – Before I get out of bed each day, I write down at least five things I’m grateful for and read one passage of inspiration selectly randomly from any number of books on my bedside table.

It will start off your day positively and help you stay on track throughout the day.

What is your favorite uplifting book? If you need a list of inspiring books, here is one from Goodreads.

5) Find one thing that gives you joy – Make a list of activities you loved as a young girl. Select one and “make a date” to revisit an interest or hobby you once loved.

I’ve seen women return to their love to dance, horseback ride, knit, ice-skate, hike — and in doing so she tapped into a “spark” — and that led to other sparks!

6) Turn your pain into purpose — I just finished Sheila Weller’s latest book, The News Sorority, the life stories of newswoman Katie Couric, Diane Sawyerand Christiane Amanpour.

Each of them is a great example of turning personal pain into something bigger than herself:

Diane Sawyer’s father drove off of a bridge to his death when she was 23, and it spurred her to do her best to make him proud. Katie Couric’s husband died of colon cancer at 32, leaving her with two small girls. Fight cancer led her to raise millions of dollars and prevent thousands of deaths.

Christiane Amanpour’s family lost their home, possessions and more during the Iranian Revolution; it spurred her to become a courageous reporter in war-torn countries.

So what is the pain in your life? Can you turn it inside out and find the spark that will lead you to accessing your passion?

Wait until you see how it worked out for this Woman on Fire — JW Boothe. Jas found her “spark” from her pain — and here she is being honored by Oprah!

Love,

 

P.S. Thank you to WTNH-TV in New Haven, Connecticut –and especially host Jocelyn Maminta and producer Meghan Yost for inviting me to share How To Live Your Life on Fire!